Day 141/~200Who wrote the book on goodbye? There's never been a way to make this easy.
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Days 139-140/~200As of late, I've been spending my time with friends. Productivity (for the very little amount of things I have left to do) has fallen to the back burner, and I've started to focus on enjoying my remaining days as best I can with the people whom I have grown to love. Two days in a row, I have taken trips into the woods to enjoy the weather and scenery with dear friends. First was a trip to Varissuo, where we managed to walk around the entire lake (but not without ice cream). Second was a trip somewhere past Kaarina, where we enjoyed the view from atop a large hill. Both of these excursions were filled with laughter and the dreadful realization that I am going to miss this. It's as if I've already begun to miss it and I haven't even left yet.
Life is good, and that's the way it should be. |
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It took a lot of irritating errand running, but now I'm pretty much on my way out the door. I have officially moved out of my apartment. Seeing it as empty as it was when I first arrived was a little heart-wrenching. I wasn't even upset about cleaning and packing and turning in my keys so much as just sad that it had come to this. My papers have been signed by the international office and the only remaining things to do are things that can be done over the web (final paper, getting final grades, etc).
With this, I have come to realize something wildly important and almost frightening. Even since I can remember, I have dreamed of traveling to Ireland. Right now, I'm about 36(ish) hours from doing just that. However, I've found myself wanting to post-pone this coming adventure so long as I could savor a little more time here in Finland with my friends. I don't think I'm ready to leave yet. I knew that saying goodbye at the end of the semester was going to be hard, but who knew that it was going to be this hard. I suppose, unfortunately, no one could have prepared me for something like this even if I had been warned. |
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Days 133-138/~200Riga, LatviaI spent a lot of time in airports recently, but for good reason. My trip to Paros was constructed in such a way where I would get a fairly long layover in Latvia. I felt safe enough to leave the airport and take a bus into the city center to hang out for a while (confident enough that I would be able to make it back to the airport before my midnight flight).
Riga is a lovely place, partly because of the easy accessibility and partly because its main sights-to-see are clustered rather close together. I managed to lose my map of the city, but did not get lost regardless of this. Compared to the strange weather I'd been experiencing in Finland, Latvia was like springtime from home - a little humid, some wind, warm. For the first time in a long time, I got to walk around in a t-shirt and be entirely comfortable. |
Paros, GreeceGreece is sort of like a place from a dream I had once long ago that has taunted me for years since. Between the landscape, the sea, the weather, and the simplicity of it all, it's a place that I feel that I could call home. Every step I took, I lingered.
Upon arrival, I had a lengthy bus rise that showed me a brief, visual tour (non-official) of a portion of the island (a great introduction really). The first thing I did in Greece was have a gyro on the walk to my friend's apartment and take advantage of the siesta and take a nap (at that point, I had spent way too long in the airport/traveling). For anyone that doesn't know: most things in Greece are closed from 2-6pm and people just hang out, relax, nap, or go get some food. Afterwards, Lexi and I took a walk around the main part of town on a hunt for patches. We had dinner on the seaside, watching the light dampen beyond the clouds as the pieces of the towns along the hills came to life. Reconnecting alone was a wonderful feeling - we talked a ways into the night before going to get some sleep. The next morning, we took a trip to the ruins of the Acropolis of Athena. It was basically reduced to a pile of rocks and hardly there, but the view nearby was worth the trek. Nearby to that was the Frankish Castle (incredibly small), and not too far away was the Archaeological Museum (also pretty small, but filled with so much historical artifacts). Next, was a trip to the beach to swim in the Aegean Sea. The shallows were comfortably warm, but once you got about thigh deep it was pretty chilly. So, we devised a genius plan to float near the surface and drift with the waves. Unfortunately, this involved a lot of (VERY) salty seawater in the mouth. I shamelessly admit to accidentally swallowing some and wanting to throw up. Afterwards, I spent some time laying on the beach in the sun enjoying the coastal breeze (I got a little sun burnt, but it wasn't anything serious). The next day, Lexi and I took a bus to the northern part of the island and went on a hike. We hiked up a large rock pile (basically off trail rock climbing but not super extreme), and sat at the top for a while to take in the view. What I saw from the top of those rocks was a picture perfect postcard view that pictures could never do justice. I think I could have stared for hours with the wind roaring in my ears, but our trip down to the beach to walk in the shallows on our way back to the bus stop was equally as nice. Leaving Greece and the amazing people I met there wasn't hard. It didn't feel like leaving home or like I was leaving anyone behind. It felt more like the proper end to a short adventure that promised to resume some day. |
Similar to the start of this journey, I spent quite a while at the airport. This was only a good thing because I had plenty of time to read and managed to finish a book for my own leisure, something I haven't done in quite a while. The downside to leaving was that I would be returning to Finland, where my time remaining continued to shrink at an alarmingly and upsettingly quick rate. The other downside was that Finnish summer had finally arrived and now I had one horrific sunburn from my final couple of days on Paros.
While I was away, I was asked how I would ever be shown anything so spectacular in Finland now that I had seen Greece from above (seen below). My answer was simple: there's so much do to, so many things to see, and they are all the more incredible when shared with good company. I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by magnificent people in Finland, all of whom have contributed to the joy I have felt daily and the positive value of all of my experiences. My mom told me that she feared for my bravery (especially since I had traveled alone to Greece, even if I didn't spend my time there on my own). I think bravery is necessary in moderation. Had it not been for my daring and semi-reckless/spontaneous attitude, I would never have done the amazing things that I have. As it stands, I've been to 14 countries since I left the United States - something I never thought I would be able to say. Wandering around Latvia on my own, I was not frightened or nervous. I was more scared of getting on the wrong plane than I was of getting lost or having a negative encounter while out-and-about (perhaps a little irrational). So, I am glad for my bravery, even if said bravery causes others to be fearful for me. To that, I say: Don't sweat it. It'll all work out in the end. |
Days 131 & 132/~200I had never even heard of Eurovision until some European exchange students in the US clued me in on some of the hilarity. As it turns out, I had heard some (a very limited "some" mind you) of the songs from past years purely by happenstance. This year's Eurovision wasn't particularly over the top and hilarious or entertaining, but it did make for some good laughs among friends.
At this time of year, summer specifically, daylight never really leaves. The sun never quite goes down all the way, so you can find "morning" on the horizon somewhere if you look hard enough. Daylight lasts for approximately 18 hours (leaving only about 6 to "darkness"). It feels pretty surreal to have such long days. It's like time is something you and your friends made up as a cruel joke. If anything, I suppose I'm glad that the days feel so much longer because my time remaining (in Finland that is) is so short. |
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Anyone that knows me understands that I have a fascination with bodies (in most senses of the term). I've been to the Body Worlds human exhibit twice now and have come out completely amazed and enthralled each time. Learning about the human body is incredible, but it's so much more amazing when the body is presented to you in such an artistic way.
Little did I know, there is an animal version of Body Worlds and it happened to be at a museum in Helsinki recently. Naturally, a few friends and I found ourselves a way to get there and went without a second thought. If I thought humans were interesting, then there's something pretty special to say about the way animals work. The massively diverse shapes, sizes, and bodily functions (even if they all have most of the same basic parts) is simply astounding to witness in such a raw and uncensored way. Needless to say, wandering through the section on sea creatures was absolutely my favorite, especially when I rounded the corner to find a gorgeous Great White Shark to greet me with a seal between its teeth. |
Days 124-130/~200The past week has been rather eventful. It started as any week should: with a good weekend.
First, I had a horror movie marathon with a couple of my friends. We gathered in the light hours of the day and killed time into the odd hours of the morning. In total, we watched four movies, which I will briefly rate as follows... Let The Right One In 7/10 The Babadook 6/10 It Follows 6/10 The Autopsy of Jane Doe 6/10 Unfortunately, after this barrage of horror, I had to walk home alone in the dark. I'm lucky that it was a short walk to get back to my apartment. I was admittedly a little paranoid, but I made it out alive. Next, I went to a meeting about Vinokino, the only LGBT+ film festival in Finland. This meeting, like the last one I went to, was completely in Finnish, so my understanding of what was talked about was very limited. After this, I took a trip across town to visit another friend who prepared a lovely meal for the both of us to enjoy with a fresh dose of refreshing conversation. |
There is no debating that castles are magnificent things. There is, however, many questions surrounding why I didn't end up at this one sooner. Turku Castle is the oldest castle in Finland. It has survived many a disaster, and was turned into a fascinating museum. I was fortunate enough to have my own personal tour guide (given that one of my friends has been there upwards of 40 times now).
Between the chapels, the artifact rooms, the exhibit showing how the castle was built, and the many model rooms from different time periods, the castle itself is filled with knowledge through the ages. My favorite things about it were the simple things. The windows in the castle had sitting areas by them since they used to be social areas. Even if they weren't the most comfortable places to sit, they provided many good photographs. But, we had the most fun in the children's play area where you can try on real armor and have fake sword battles with crested shields and all. |
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After our trip to the castle, we went to a fantastic local Chinese restaurant called Yangtze. Here, I tried beef low mein for the first time. As someone who is usually so picky about food, I've been exposed to quite the variety of foods since I've been away from the US. Especially since my dessert that day was ice cream with deep fried bananas.
As can be seen to the left, it snowed quite hard. Finland's weather, even now that it is considered summer, has been rather interesting. I had grown used to the cloudy skies and windy, snowy days toward the beginning of the semester. Recently, things had warmed up considerably (as high as 55 degrees F), and it has been rather sunny. However, this has not happened without the occasional weather oddity, which includes rain, snow, and hail. All of these things have happened spontaneously, with little warning, and lasted only a short period of time before once more disappearing and leaving only sun. |
As a direct response to the American Breakfast for Dinner Party we threw thereabouts of a month and a half ago, some of our Finnish friends decided to throw us a Finnish Dinner Party. They decided to make a traditional salmon soup (of which I opted out of due to my issues with fish - the response to which was to provide me with my own serving of soup with sausages, also a very Finnish meal) and bake fresh karjalanpiirakka (Karelian Pies/Pastries) with egg butter. It turns out that I'm quite the pro at rolling out the dough for the pastries and folding the rice porridge into them (for a beginner anyways).
Our general attitude for the night was "I don't care if I'm full, the food is delicious and I'm going to eat more". Which we definitely did. Almost everything we had made was eaten between the six of us over the course of the night. Long after everyone else had headed for home, myself, Hanna, and Valtteri spent quite a while talking the hours away (partly about neuroscience, partly about school, partly about who knows what else). |
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Next was Akateeminen Aurajokilaivuritutkinto (aka AATU), a pub crawl across Turku. Students gather to the riverside and claim a map. On this map is every participating bar in the city. The goal is to go to as many of these bars as possible within a nine hour time frame. You are not required to drink alcohol, but you are required to buy something from every bar in order to collect a stamp. Depending on how many stamps you collect, you will receive a patch with a different ranking. My friends and I collected a total of twelve stamps each, which means we were all awarded the highest honor: the Captain patch.
The end of the night was spent at Vegas Night Club, where we hung around with students from all over the place and danced until we were too hot, too sweaty, and ready to collapse into our beds. I don't think a walk home has ever felt so long, I don't think Subway has ever tasted so wonderful, nor do I think that sitting down has ever felt so good (I was on my feet all day - 2pm to 3am). |
Finally, was the sad conclusion to my Finnish volleyball career. Though my last game wasn't as intense or competitive and not that many people showed up, I can say with certainty that I still had fun. My time at Ruiskatu Sports Hall will always be remembered as the place where I improved my skills, was pushed by my teammates to play my best, laughed uncontrollably more times than I can recall, and made friends that I will have for the rest of my life. But I realized something on my way home, and it can most accurately be summed up using a series of song lyrics...
You're gonna miss this You're gonna want this back You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast These are some good times So take a good look around You may not know it now But you're gonna miss this 'Cause this is all we know This feeling's all we know And it feels like we could do this all night |
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Day 123/~200I took a trip with my friends to the Kuusisto Castle ruins (which wasn't the castle I was expecting to be taken to since there is another, more intact castle in Turku). To get there, we needed to take a bus into the country side and were fairly near to the sea. From our bus stop, we needed to trek it on foot to the ruins. I was quite surprised by how scenic the area was. It reminded me a lot of the farmland in Wisconsin with all of the open fields and barns.
We spent a good amount of time exploring the ruins, which felt more like an old village than a castle. As can be seen in the pictures, our methods of exploration involved a lot of careful traversing of the destroyed walls. Afterwards, from some ember remnants, we built a fire and shared some snacks before taking the time to enjoy the view from a nearby pier. I couldn't think of better way to spend such a beautiful, Finnish summer day. |
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Days 121 & 122/~200I spend a lot of my time avoiding the inside of churches. The only reasonable explanation for this that I can come up with revolves around the idea that they make me feel small and subsequently uncomfortable. However, there is one thing that will draw me into the quiet pews of a church: live music.
Today, a friend of mine performed with Collegium Musicum Turku in their spring concert at St. Michael's Church. These incredibly skilled musicians tackled a symphony along with a couple shorter works. As usual, the dark hum of low notes and the sound of harmonies reverberating off of the walls sent shivers through me. It's so calming to listen to the warmth that emanates in these spaces if only as a result of the way the sound makes the air move. What a shame that the concert, at an hour and a half in length, felt so short. I think I could have stayed for a while. |
Days 113-120/~200May Day is quite the celebration in Finland. It's not just a day, or an eve and a day, but an entire week of events, activities, and just....stuff. I actually had to take the time to sort through all of the things I had been invited to and plan well enough in advance what I was going to attend, where I needed to go, and who I was going with.
If there's anything I can say with certainty, and I feel like this applies really generally, it's that when these sorts of special occasions arise you should spend this time with close friends. Sure, going about it alone can sometimes be fun, but the "good" in "good times" is escalated to a whole new level when you're surrounded by people you care about and you're all enjoying the circumstances that brought you together in the first place. So, that's exactly what I did (as per usual) - I surrounded myself with great company and rode the good vibes through the entire week. |
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One of the first things I did was attend Anglica's patch sewing/hang out night. Myself and many others (some not pictured) gathered in Kaffila (Anglica's student organization room) with sewing supplies in hand and spent the night conversing with one another while sewing patches onto our overalls. Admittedly, I really needed something like this to get my butt into gear. The patches that I had gathered during my road trip and from going to several events in Finland with either ESN or Anglica had begun to pile up while my overalls remained bare. Now, despite it not being "traditional", I have sewn all of my patches to the right leg of my overalls in near chronological order. There's some method to my madness - so instead of sewing them in random places to try to fill the overalls, I decided that as I gathered patches from my various adventures then my collection on the overalls would grow with me (and when I run I push off with my right leg, sort of symbolizing the start of it all). Maybe it's a bit corny, but it's how I decided to do things.
When the night had nearly ended and I had run out of sewing to do, I took a trip across town to pop into a party at Aussie Bar (a bar and restaurant on a boat). The music was good, but after sitting around by myself for a bit, I headed for home. |
Next, I took a trip outside (once again with my fellow Anglicans). The weather has really taken a turn for the pleasant recently, even if it's still a little colder than what I'm used to for this time of year. Despite strange bouts of rain and snow, it's been rather sunny and has been hovering around 45-50 degrees F.
Aside from the typical outdoorsy-type games (frisbee, kicking a "soccer" ball around), I got the chance to play a more traditional Finnish game. Mölkky is a game of throwing a wooden rod at the wooden spikes pictured to the right. It starts off a little bit like billiards - all of the spikes will be put together in a triangle and as they are knocked over, they are re-positioned to stand where they fell and subsequently are spread out. The first player to 50 points wins (plenty more rules not explained here). There were plenty of laughs to be had while playing games like "spread" (also seen to the right, it's a game that resembles twister but you only use your legs) and while I was passing a volleyball around with a small group (clearly my preference - we even had some self-implemented challenges like "you have to say a color every time you hit the ball"). As the evening wore on, the air grew bitter and cold, and slowly but surely the group dispersed until all that had been left at the park were our footprints and a joke about the soccer players looking much warmer than us. |
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The University of Turku Student Union hosted an event at the School of Economics that was basically a small, international Vappu. A bunch of the student organizations on campus gathered and set up tables where you could buy overall patches (and sometimes other things like bags or song books). This was more of a visibility event than anything - a place for students (mostly exchange students) to hang out with members of different organizations and relax.
The main attraction, however, was the fact that the TYY (Student Union) was giving out munkki and sima. Sima is the rough equivalent of mead - a carbonated, sweet beverage that apparently tastes much better when it's home made. Munkki are basically jam filled donuts coated in sugar (and the word is the same as if describing a Monk, as in the person). Needless to say, I can't exactly pass up traditional Finnish snacks at this point and I remain grossly satisfied (pretty sure I could eat munkki every day). |
Finally, Vappu eve had arrived. By this point, I had forced myself to write two full papers to account for the amount of time I would be away from my studies. I felt prepared, all things considered.Though, the weather was perhaps not as friendly as it could have been. On an off the sun shone but would quickly be blotted out by clouds and rain and snow. It was cold and windy, which made me appreciate the sunny moments so much more.
The festivities began with our arrival at Anglica's punch stand. Here, we shared some food, drank tasty punch, and I received my author's copy of the Baccanalia (the Anglica magazine that published my article). After a while, we ventured off to hang around the other student organization's stands only to find that everyone had run out of punch to share. The highlight of the day was merging into the crowd at the top of the art building hill to listen to the May Day speech. Here, hundreds of people gathered (students and otherwise). From the top of the hill, you watch a sea of people turn white as everyone dons their student hats at the end of the speech and the flags of all the student organizations are flown in a small parade down the hill. Later in the evening, my group of friends and I went to someone's apartment to hang out and play video games. Jackbox.tv has some of the most fun party games I've ever played, and all you really need is the software and a smartphone. Needless to say, I think I have some ideas to bring home with me. When I finally got around to going home, it was about 4AM (one hour from sunrise). Lots of fun warrants lots of rest. |
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I thought I saw a lot of people on Vappu eve, but after finally crawling out of bed Vappu morning and meeting up with my picnic crew, we made our way to a park where pretty much every student in the city had gathered. The sun was shining, the weather was beautiful, and I can honestly say I've never seen that many people in one location in all my time in Finland. The hills were alive, seas of people with so many different colored overalls that unimaginably creative rainbows formed, dissipated, and formed anew.
We spent the day basking in the sun (I may have even gotten a little sun burnt) while enjoying some snacks and music. I finally had time to sit back and take a look at the other articles that had been published alongside my own. The humor and heart that had been put into this publication was admirable and appreciated by all who read it. Conversation after conversation came and went and soon enough the crowd had thinned out. Soon, we, too, were on our way back home to enjoy our evenings in quiet solitude. The party had ended but the good times would continue to roll. Happy May Day everyone! |
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Days 111 & 112/~200I am alive in a time of great activism. I live in a time where we march and flood the streets for the things we believe in. I live in a time where countless numbers of people speak up against oppression and fight for justice, equality, equity, and change. These are excellent, empowering things. However, I also live in a time where it is necessary to march for science, fight for my rights as a biologically female bodied person, and where allowing people to find asylum and safety in the proverbial walls of a different country is actually a debate.
Exactly one month from today, I will find myself on Irish soil (a dream I've had for many years). It will be the beginning of a journey that will help me to determine my place in the world. I will be taking part in such fulfilling and rewarding work, all while helping people within a community that I have a lot of passion for. I am excited and nervous, but I know that leaving Finland will be hard if only because of the people I will be leaving behind. |
Days 102-110/~200So, Easter has always been a little bit weird, a little bit unconventional, and a little questionable at best. I don't know who decided that letting me eat candy for breakfast most of my childhood was a good idea (on Easter, mind you), or why hiding all of the eggs was considered a game especially when entrusting their hiding places to someone prone to forgetting where they were. But, I suppose I never really complained about basically getting chocolate, bunny themed Christmas once a year.
Finland is a bit of a different story. Here, the children dress up as witches and warlocks to honor this traditionally Pagan holiday. They decorate small branches with more stereotypically "Easter-like" things and trade them for candy on people's doorsteps like it's Halloween (not exactly my own words, but a comparison that works nonetheless). I, unfortunately, managed to miss the parade of kids and for the first time I spent Easter alone. Now, there's a reason for this. As the semester draws to an end, a finish line of deadlines is what's at the end of my race - as a partial product of my own procrastination mixed with poor timing. I've been doing far too much reading for my own good (about 600 pages in 3 days). With a total of three exams completed, I'm merely awaiting grades, working on reading other things, and planning final papers. Slowly, but surely, things are coming to an end. To make up for the fact that I didn't celebrate Easter, my tandem Finnish partner, Minna, decided that it would be in my better interests to try some traditionally Finnish Easter cuisine. This, admittedly, was an excellent idea because unless you make the products at home, you cannot find them anywhere out of season. We took to several stores and were unable to find Mignon eggs (which I already have tried, but liked, and would have loved to eat more of). However, in spite of the fact that I had assumed this item would be harder to find, we managed to get our hands on some mämmi. The best description of mämmi that I've heard is: rye bread pudding, which makes it sound a little less appetizing than it actually is. I was warned far in advance to eat it with plenty of cream and sugar. I ditched on the sugar, perhaps not my best idea but I did the best I could with what I had. Overall, the texture was a little bit weird at first but I can't say that I disliked it. I don't suppose I'd ever actively seek it out again, but I do plan on attempting to make it when I return to the States so that others can experience it as well. Minna also made me try a yogurt like thing called pasha. It was rather tangy, pretty sweet, and could have gone a lot better had the texture of the raisins not been a little gross. Regardless of the fact that I didn't finish either of these little dishes, I can at least say that I tried them. |
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Yesterday, I attended a local meeting with the organization Trasek to talk about the Transgender Rights legislation here in Finland. We had a lengthy discussion regarding the political climate in Finland, potential amendments to the law and how to go about them, and also compared and contrasted Finland's laws with that of other European countries. Soon enough, I will be conducting interviews of the organization's leadership and hopefully will be able to attend another meeting or two to lend a helping hand (of sorts) before I leave the country.
Today, in contrast, was a bit more adventurous. Clayton and I took a bus down to Ruissalo, a kind-of-sort-of island right by Turku. When I woke up this morning, it was sleeting pretty hard. The forecast had said that the precipitation would end by early afternoon, which felt like it couldn't come soon enough when I walked to the bus stop in the rain. By the time we arrived at our first stop, the University of Turku Botanical Gardens, the rain had pretty much let up. The exterior gardens were still in the process of blooming their way out of winter's cold grasp, but the gardens inside were very much alive. It was interesting to see tropical plants from all over the world yet find some familiar "faces" among the crowd. I love the way that greenhouses smell: crisp, fresh, and filled with life. Our next stop was the Ruissalo coast. It took quite the trek on foot to make it there, complete with light showers, but the views were well worth the journey. Over the course of the next couple hours, Clayton and I took to conversing and taking photographs of the surrounding area while playing weather bingo. Between the rain, the wind, the sleet, the flurries, the sun, and the calm, I thought we had seen it all. However, hail the size of (or even a little bit bigger than) buckshot came and went out of nowhere. As quickly as it had arrived and left us running for cover, it disappeared and left a white sheen over top of the ground. Needless to say, after getting mostly drenched (no thanks to my accidental puddle hopping either), I needed some time to thaw out in a hot shower when I arrived back home. |
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Day 101/~200Today, I accompanied my fellow Anglica members to FlowPark Turku. FlowPark is an outdoor ropes course situated in the trees on the company activity grounds. Participants are able to go through a number of different tracks ranging from low (close to the ground) and rather easy to high and rather difficult so long as they meet the minimum height requirement for each track. After undergoing a safety briefing and being equipped with all the necessary safety equipment (a harness and a helmet), participants are put through a short test course to ensure they understand and exercise all of the safety precautions required by the park. Once completed, the participants are able to roam the park at their own leisure and go through courses of their choosing. There's no pressure to complete a course or do a course harder than you are comfortable with, especially since the staff is extremely kind and is willing to exact a rescue mission should anyone get stuck for any reason.
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It happened to be snowing a bit (mostly flurries) and rather cold while we were at the park but it proved to be useful as climbing around in the trees is quite the exercise and tends to leave you rather warm. Anyone that knows me knows well enough that I love climbing trees, being in high places, and doing things that get my blood pumping (I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie, oh well). So, this was the perfect adventure for me to attend (I even left a class early just to go, and I have no regrets).
Traversing the obstacles of the park, everything from hanging barrels and tightropes to hanging nets and zip lines, was one of the most fun and challenging things I've had the pleasure of experiencing here in Finland (I even had to channel my inner Lara Croft). There were lots of laughs to be had, more than enough great company, and plenty of encouragement to be passed around. My muscles burn, my body is exhausted, but my sense of adventure is satisfied and I get the feeling I'm going to sleep well tonight. |
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Days 96-100/~200Recently, I've had time to reflect about some of my experiences and finally had the chance to fiddle with my Polaroid. As it turns out, the battery in the first film pack I used was faulty, meaning the camera never fully turned on. All it took was for me to replace the film cartridge and I was able to get a couple of great snapshots from around my apartment complex. I'm hoping to attain some more film and be able to take some more photos for an art project of my travels for when I return home. Too bad my camera didn't work on my road trip...
Now, if there's anything that studying abroad has taught me it's that you need to take advantage of situations as they come your way. I say this because I sent my TEDx audition application on a whim - I never expected that I would receive an invitation to audition, but I figured that it didn't hurt to try. Don't get me wrong, taking the stage was a pretty terrifying experience for someone who has a fear of public speaking, but I walked away better for it. I was given the opportunity not only to share my ideas in relation to this year's "Not Stereotypes" theme, but I also got to hone my skills as a presenter with an audience.
As it stands, my semester in Finland is coming to an end. I have a mere 5.5 weeks remaining in Turku. Within the next couple of weeks, I will have completed a majority of my classes by taking exams and turning in final papers, and I will have begun prepping for my departure to Ireland.
The math tells me that my abroad experience is pretty much exactly halfway over. It took so long to get here, it's hard to believe that it seems to be ending so quickly even if I know that I've been away from home for quite some time now. I get why they tell you to live in the moment. It goes fast. |
Days 94 & 95/~200I remain shell-shocked from getting on stage and presenting a speech to a crowd of people willing to hear my ideas as valid and serious. From the moment I applied, I was terrified - that anxiety definitely showed in my stage performance (as far as I can tell, but I'm a biased source of information). To me, I did not uphold my own high standards of presentation and did rather poorly - but, I had several people (even those who were not among my friends) who came up to me after the show and told me how much they loved my speech. The point of a Tedx talk is to provoke thought and present ideas - and if I managed to accomplish that much only (even if I don't progress) then I would say that I was successful to some extent.
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Days 92 & 93/~200I was reminded of something recently that I think is worth mentioning here. I think it's incredibly important to share your experiences, and I don't mean to document them and share them after the fact but instead I mean that you should experience the world with others. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with going on a trip alone or having fun on your own, but I might argue that the value of those moments is exponentially increased when you're in good company. The world shines a little more vibrantly when you share the same view of the sky with someone close to you; food tastes a little better, booze is a little smoother, you laugh a little harder, smile a little wider, sing the wrong words to the songs you love a little louder, walk a little slower, dance a little more wild - and for it, your life is a little greater. Find people you care about and do the things you enjoy with them.
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Days 87 - 91/~200Friday, I attended my second sitz party. This time around the theme was "fiction", so everyone dressed up as a fictional character. As someone with a fairly limited wardrobe, all it took was a new shirt and a prop to make myself into Christopher Robin from Winnie the Pooh. This happens to be one of my favorite costumes because it's both easy and incredibly nostalgic.
The sitz was hosted in Finglish (an odd mixture of Finnish and English), but even though I didn't understand much of what was being said, anything noteworthy was translated for me by friends who were seated nearby. The costumes were great (everything from Heath Ledger's Joker and Freddy Kreuger to Powerpuff Girls and memes), the drinks were good, and the company was fantastic. There were plenty of laughs to be had, and this just amounts to another night I will never forget. |
Saturday, with the help of some of the other American students, we gathered some friends and hosted a casual afternoon/evening party. This party consisted of watching Dr. Seuss movies (since most people we've encountered have known little to nothing about Dr. Seuss and his stories) and cooking breakfast food. After a lot of preparation and some tedious fiddling with the stove, we shelled out piece after piece of our meal until we had a well rounded, American-style breakfast buffet (albeit small) with everything from chocolate chip pancakes to hashbrowns.
As it turns out, much of what we made was unfamiliar to our guests and some of them made a habit of watching what we were doing rather intently as we were preparing the meal. I shouldn't have been surprised given that what is normal for me is not necessarily globally normalized. Some items on our menu, like hashbrowns and maple syrup, were really novel but now have quite the fan following among our friends. I'm glad to say that we've needed to share recipes and preparation tips since the party ended. |
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Sunday, I went on an adventure with Alisa. She took me to a part of town I don't often venture and showed me around. She showed me her old schools, walked me past buildings that are over 100 years old, and told me stories from her childhood. We walked to a park area overlooking the river and celebrated the silent beauty of a place that was otherwise so grey due to the weather. The area close to the river was particularly peaceful because of the rush of the water over the rocks - such a calming noise.
I was fortunate enough to be able to meet her family and spend the evening playing Finnish board games, having traditional Finnish Easter snacks, and I got to experience my first sauna. The sauna itself was a very cleansing and relaxing experience. The intense heat prickles your skin but relieves so much tension from your body. It's an incredibly intimate experience to say the least and watching the sweat and steam roll off my body when we sat outside the sauna and enjoyed a cider made me feel like stress was leaving me just as the heat was. |
Recently, I watched the movie Moana. I found myself in awe at how touched I was by the film. It's easy for me to see that my vast love of the ocean and appreciation of the fantastic animation played a large part in my enjoyment. However, the messages portrayed throughout the movie really spoke to me and my circumstances.
Warning: Movie Spoilers AheadHe's hard on you because he was you. There is often a stereotype in movies that parents are controlling and protective because they want what's best for their children to the extent than they demand their greatness in damaging ways. It's not often hinted that the reason parents are afraid and overbearing at times is because they know exactly what it's like to be young, reckless, and daring. Parents have made mistakes too and sometimes all they want is to save their kids the way they couldn't save themselves or someone they cared for.
The thing is - there is a definite gap in experience. What happened to your parents won't necessarily happen to you and what happens to you won't necessarily have happened to your parents, and even so you will definitely not experience it in the same way. You don't always get to save your kids and keep them safe, and maybe that's kind of the point because it is often in these forms of adversity that children learn to survive and thrive in unimaginable ways. There comes a day when you're gonna look around and realize happiness is where you are ... You can find happiness right where you are. A lot of people say that you need to make the best out of every situation, which I don't necessarily disagree with. There is nothing wrong with being optimistic and choosing to find peace, beauty, and serenity even in otherwise trying circumstances, but I don't think that it is by any means an excuse to settle for what you have just because you can find happiness there. Advocate for your own change, create circumstances in which you are happy rather than needing to find happiness in the circumstances in which you find yourself.
It's so easy to remain and linger in places where you can find happiness and are satisfied, but there's so much more to be had from the world than just being satisfied with what you have and where you are. It's important to listen to yourself and strive for the bigger, better things that you want. It would have been so easy to inhabit my own little corner of the world as if it were all I knew, but I built a home for myself in a place near my college, with my friends, and where I felt like I belonged. You will raise this whole island higher. The idea of being widely interconnected (the Butterfly Effect, so to speak) is this kind of idea that your presence and influence affect those around you whether or not you are conscious of it. When you treat yourself and others with compassion and empathy, you are not just raising yourself up but you are pulling up those around you and those around them until you effectively raise everything up a notch (even if it's just a little bit). The opposite is true as well, being destructive drags others down until you create a harmful system that spreads like mercury through veins - heavy and toxic. In this way, it could be said that we are responsible for the air in a place and whether or not what we breathe fuels or drains us.
You are the future of our people, Moana. They are not out there. They are right here. Millennials are a generation who has been awarded the right to hold the future in their hands. With this comes the inherent responsibility to take care of the world and the people around us because we are to be leaders and people of influence. However, this doesn't mean that it's our duty to disregard the world around us and refuse to seek adventure in the great unknown. It's important to travel and find the places you love and the person you are.
For the longest time, I had a crippling fear of walking away from my life, of packing up and leaving my whole world behind because I had no idea what would happen. It would have been the biggest mistake of my life to let the opportunities I've been handed slip through my fingers just to satisfy some internal responsibility to my life at home as a student, as a leader, and as a friend. Though I have learned much on my journey so far and have so much more to see and experience, it in no way means that I will not be returning home some day (I have already booked my flight back to the States from Dublin). But, I needed to do this for me and I couldn't let the wants and needs of anyone else impede on that. You wanna tell me, I don't know what I'm doing. I know I don't ... Choose someone else. Please. It's so important to remember that you don't always have to know what you want, where you're going, or what you're doing. Sometimes it feels like the weight of every decision you've ever made hangs on your shoulders, threatening to make your spine fold under the pressure. It's natural to doubt your choices, doubt yourself and how you will cope with circumstances, and doubt that you are on the right path. You have all the time in the world to figure it out, but be honest with yourself - know yourself well enough to know when you've had enough and be able to say when you're scared or feel like you're not quite the right person for the job. Your decisions are not absolute. You can always turn back, go home, or change your mind. It's alright to make things up as you go and take things as they come - sometimes that's all you can really do.
And when that voice starts to whisper: Moana, you've come so far. |
Now, the following set of songs are the ones that really struck a chord with me.
I've mentioned it before - that I live with this sort of philosophy that if you get the feeling that you should do something that you should do it. It's this mentality that if you don't do it you know that you'll regret it later. Sometimes you have reservations about listening to this proverbial voice inside because it goes against what you know to be the safe and beaten path. However, regardless of this kind of hesitation there is the irresistible temptation to succumb to the allure of mystery and novelty.
As someone who has always been attracted to the ocean, I understand on a very literal level what it's like to continuously find myself at the edge of the water. But, characteristic of the song, I saw the line where the sky met the sea and could hear it calling to me. It was the promise of great and incredible things far beyond my comfort zone and far from home. For a long time, I recognized this as a feeling of unrest and non-contentedness that I attributed to the idea that I was homesick for a place that didn't exist. I realize that it was entirely possible for me to be satisfied with my circumstances, especially since I consider myself lucky - however, I knew that not taking advantage of my opportunities to travel regardless of any potential consequences would be a mistake. I knew from the moment I learned of these chances that I needed to go. Once I had decided to study abroad, it wasn't long after that I had also decided to intern abroad. In that respect, there was no way of telling how far I would go should I go at all. I had a lot of trouble finalizing my plans for study abroad in a way that made me feel as though I was guaranteed to go. Once I had started the application process, I promised myself that I would see it as far through as I was able to. I didn't want to have to back out of the program, especially since I knew that there was no way I would change my mind about wanting to go. Really, nothing was solidified until I had my Finnish residence permit in my hands, which wasn't until about a month before I left.
It was at that point that my anxiety was transformed from "will I get to go?" to "oh my god, I'm going". It was this crushing realization that I would be traveling on my own to an entirely new place where I didn't speak the language and was ultimately unaware of the culture. I was scared, but it was this fear that fueled me. When I arrived, I felt an immediate sense of relief because I felt like I had accomplished something by pushing myself into "the great unknown" because it felt like I was exactly where I needed to be. It was like everything was falling into place because I had finally stopped letting myself and others hold me back. Now that I'm here and have traveled a decent amount, I understand that there really is no way of telling how far I'd be willing to go should my resources and circumstances allow. There are so many places I want to go, so many things I want to see, and so much I want to experience. The entire purpose of my decision to study and intern abroad was never centralized around traveling for academic and professional development - I wanted to experience the world and learn about myself. I put a lot of value into figuring yourself out, but understand that that identity is not stagnant and that it is always going to be changing/developing in some regard.
I am everything I've learned; I am my successes and my failures, my accomplishments, and my journeys; I am made of pieces of everyone who I have ever met and I carry them and their influences with me everywhere that I go; but only I am allowed to define myself, and it is up to me to be where I want (or feel I need) to be, do the things that I want (or feel I need) to do, and be the person that I choose to be (even if that person isn't always who I need to be). No matter what - at the end of the day - I'm always going to be me, and it's okay if I don't quite know who that is just yet. I am a work in progress, and I have come a long way from where I was but have a long way to go. But, what's important, is that I was, am, and always will be me - I'm Sam. |
Days 85 & 86/~200Recently I've come to the explicit realization that my remaining time in Finland is slowly dwindling, day by day. I feel as though there is much that I have yet to experience. It's like I have unfinished business with a place I came to with nearly no agenda. There is still so much to see, so much to do, so much to learn, and so many people to grow close to and experience the world with. It feels like leaving is the loss of something wonderful that I was fortunate enough to be able to grasp in my hands if only for a short time.
The thing I think I will miss the most is volleyball. I have played more competitively and frequently here than I have in nearly four years. I feel like I really found my niche with this group and I dread the day that I have to say goodbye to my teammates here. Sure, it's not the end of the world, but my chances of maintaining this kind of exposure are minimal if not entirely null. I find that I am not homesick, and I feel as though that same feeling will linger in regards to Finland. It's not that I miss being home, it's that I miss the people and some places and activities. I doubt I will ever miss Finland as if I found a home here, but I know that I will miss the people I met here and the amazing things I was able to do. |
Being a student while studying abroad is hard. There is this incessant sense that your time should be spent more on the experience than the work, but studying abroad carries the implication that you remain a student and are then obligated to satisfy the requirements of being a student. These days, now that I'm all too aware that my time is running out, I am more and more focused on the things I will be doing with my time remaining. It sort of feels like my head is in the clouds and it's not that I can't come down, it's that I don't want to. Who in their right mind would?
This makes it sorta difficult to wrap my head around my studies, but it is ultimately my primary motivation for being here. I can't say that I haven't learned, because I have learned so much here - not only regarding my studies but about myself and the world around me. I just need to remember that I can't shirk my academic responsibilities. It's not so much that I want to but rather that I prioritize living and tell myself that I can save the reading for later (but I read so slow that I'll need a while to catch up). That alone, I think, is an important lesson - life will always come first but you can't forget that in order to live the life you want, you have to work for it. |
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Days 77-84/~200There is much work to be done these days. My new class is requiring us to do fieldwork with an organization in Turku. I am thinking about working with a Trans Rights Activist Group and their campaign to change the laws surrounding transgender individuals' access to healthcare. Coupled with this, the end of the semester is drawing near, only eight more weeks until all of my classes are done. So, I've been doing lots of studying and lots of classwork.
Recently, I received word that I have been placed at an internship for my summer Cohort Program through ISA. On May 24th, I will be traveling to Ireland to work with CoolMine Therapeutic Community, a drug and alcohol treatment center in Dublin. I am extremely excited about this opportunity and look forward to the immense amount of learning I will be doing on the job. What a way to spend my summer. |
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This past weekend, I actually spent some quality time with friends and ventured around outside (Finnish spring is rather beautiful when it's not cloudy and windy). Saturday, I tested a new recipe and cooked a lunch for a friend from volleyball. It turned out tastier than I had originally anticipated, and now he's got several days worth of leftovers. Sunday, I took a trip to a part of Turku I had not yet explored. The purpose of this visit was to go and watch a Division 2 volleyball match with another friend from my team. It was interesting to see the vast difference of recognition for these incredibly skilled players. They are not affiliated with schools at all, but these are teams that anyone of any age can apply to play on. Even so, their followings are small, and their games are official but in a casual way.
Found below is the article I wrote for the May Day publication of a University of Turku paper regarding my experience as an exchange student.
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Days 74-76/~200The sun is shining, the rains have come, the snow on the ground is melting. and ice is thawing. I find myself walking through more puddles than usual and I need to remind myself a little more often to stick to the sidewalks to avoid having my shoes sink into the soft Earth. Spring is here and it is beautiful. There's a pretty stark contrast between the days of winter and spring in Finland. During winter, it sort of felt like the whole world had been put through a filter that sucked the natural light out of everything. As soon as spring arrived it was easy to tell because the sun was actually shining. After going quite a while without feeling the sun on my face (sun that wasn't filtered through clouds, mind you), I have to say that I can immediately feel a difference. Things are a little brighter (literally and otherwise).
My life recently has been a series of remembering the things in my life that I appreciate and hold dear. I am extremely fortunate to not only be receiving an education in the country with what is widely considered to be the best school system in the world, but I am incredibly lucky to be thriving in such a novel environment and be able to take advantage of travel opportunities and attend amazing cultural activities. These are things that I have mentioned on more than one occasion but things that will continue to be true throughout my time here. Similarly, I am surrounded by amazing, talented/skilled people who are helping me to grow here not only as a student, an athlete, and a professional, but also as a person. |
Days 72 & 73/~200After a flash snowstorm last week, some cold weather to follow, and a recent rain storm, it appears that spring has finally arrived in Finland. This is a bit of an odd thing to say given that it is not the kind of spring weather I am "used to", but I have my hesitation about what that might actually mean. As a Wisconsinite, I'm used to fluctuating weather patterns, long lasting winters, strangely early springs, and thinking that weather above freezing is "hoodie and jeans" weather. That said, I've had uncannily similar experiences in Finland. So, I suppose that weather above 40 degrees F, sunny days (as opposed to the usual cloudy skies), and minimal wind makes for spring after all. I look forward to not seeing snow on the ground for a while, but I'm not going to get my hopes up that I've seen the last of it. Finland is in a geographic location that doesn't lend itself well to warm weather in general, even summer isn't particularly hot (at least not in comparison to Wisconsin, instead their summers are more like mid-to-late spring for us).
As of late, despite it being rather early considering I still have many days to go before returning to the States, I have been planning for my return in terms of fall classes, jobs, and an internship. I've gone as far ahead as to plan out the remainder of my college career, a terrifying year an a half is all that I have left. In that respect, I'd like to encourage you all to enjoy what you have while you have it because it goes fast, and I think that holds true in most areas of life (including my term abroad, I'm already over halfway done with my semester). |
Days 69-71/~200A lot has been going on in the world of my academic career. I've been buckling down and doing some research for a paper, reading textbooks for my self study, took my Finnish exam (which I did great on), and have been altogether busy with homework (pretty much all reading). I still find plenty of time to be semi-social, workout, play volleyball, run errands, and have down time.
However, some exciting, recent news is that my application for Tedx Turku was pushed through and I was invited to audition on April 7th. I will be giving a speech regarding the intersectionality of identity and epigenetics. Should my audition go well, I have the possibility of returning to Turku in November to present my Tedx talk. I'm very excited about this opportunity despite my fear and typical hatred of public speaking. Now, it's just a matter of finding the time and putting together a 10 minute speech. |
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Day 68/~200A group of friends and I decided to go bowling today! I haven't been bowling in a while, and it's been even longer since I've been glow bowling (really there's no difference, just black lights, but it still adds to the atmosphere of the game). It was a fun, friendly competition and there were many laughs to be had.
After this, we traveled back to my apartment and sat around for a while just to hang out, have some snacks, and socialize. Overall, this was a pretty low-key hang out with familiar friends, which feels like something I haven't done in quite a while. Linda made a point tonight that I felt I could relate to. She told the group that she had brought a lot of books along with her to Finland because she hadn't been expecting to make friends, and yet here she was surrounded by friends and having a good time. I thought the same thing upon my arrival, and here I am surrounded by many new people whom I call my friends. |
Days 66 & 67/~200My life has been full of art, music, and literature as of late. I've read a couple good books (mostly for school purposes), downloaded a lot of new music, attended a casual concert (my friend's band), and took the time to visit a friend's art exhibit. I find that taking the time to enjoy the arts is important. They help to shape our views of the world and bring us joy.
Sometimes life feels rather grey and so routine that the world around you seems to lose something. It's like someone took a filtered lens and used it to make you forget the vibrancy of the colors that dance around us every day. Noise becomes muted because it's the same old sounds over and over again, so we just learn to tune them out. |
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When you grow bored of your own sensory input to the point that you begin to feel numb, it's time for a change. I cannot say that I have grown numb, but I am guilty of under appreciating the beauty of the world around me. In this way, having something to open my eyes a little wider is appreciated. I like finding new music and listening to it on repeat because it helps to create a different atmosphere and it feels more like experiencing things for the first time again. I enjoy art because someone painted the world a little differently than you have seen it and then it becomes a challenge to find the serenity they thought important enough to capture on film/canvas/paper. I love reading books that challenge the way I see things and force me to think about what I know. Sometimes disconnecting means plugging in your headphones or picking up a book, other times it means finding peace in silence as you wander your way through an art filled cafe.
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Days 64 & 65/~200Finland's weather has been rather "disappointing" these days. The promises of spring was teased in front of us by mild weather, light showers, and frequent sunshine. I had hopes that spring had arrived when I had spent several days walking through puddles created by the thawing of the world around me. However, this was not the case and winter still has us within its icy clutches. Given our geographical location, this should be of no surprise to me. It snowed for some time and a few inches now coat the ground in a fresh, white blanket. It has been decently cold and unfortunately windy. This just means, however, that an extra layer is necessary to get from one place to another without feeling winter's icy tendrils on your spine.
The class I began this week is Nordic Gendered Norms and Practices. In the first lecture, we discussed gender within the context of education. I've noted many general similarities between Finland and the United States in this regard. It appears to me that the social construct of gender is more universal than we give credence to, despite there being some clear differences between cultures when semantics are considered. In other, semi-exciting news, I have recently turned in an application to audition to perform a Tedx talk here in Turku. I will be giving a speech in consideration of this year's theme "Not Stereotypes". My topic revolves around identity, social hierarchy, and epigenetics. If I am selected to give the talk from the auditions, I will need to return to Finland later this year to perform. We'll see where this takes me. |
Today is naistenpäivä (Women's Day). I needed to explain to someone why there isn't an official or recognized "men's day" in "compliment" with Women's Day. So, let us celebrate the fact that the voices of those who are not in the majority and who lack socio-cultural privilege for not being within the social ideal in one way or another have days in which they are heard (""). Sure, it is not a perfect system because for some reason the concurrency of pieces of identity have difficulty overlapping and being properly recognized on days like this, but overall it remains important. I extend my appreciation to all the incredible and brave women in my life that have helped to shape and educate me. Your influence remains everlasting and I hope you know that your presence is cherished. Beyond this, I hope that collectively we can celebrate all women today regardless of ability, class, sex, gender identity, race, or other socially constructed means of categorization.
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Days 58-63/~200
Since my necessary (and slightly sad) return to Finland a week ago, I have been taking time to re-acclimate myself to student life. After having been on the road for so long, I have found myself rather restless and find myself dreaming of travel. Sure, it's not feasible to be in a new city or a new country every day, but that's what I'm currently longing for. I can say with certainty that my road trip experience was the most fun and most rewarding adventure I have been on to date. Ultimately, this whole study abroad experience has been a wild ride and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I am glad and thankful that I was awarded this opportunity and that I was able to take advantage of it. Life is good.
Now, since my return, I have had quite a bit to do. Inevitably, I needed to catch up on some homework. I only missed one class, but there was other work that needed to be finalized and I needed to begin prepping for the first exam I was to take this semester (my Finnish language midterm). I even turned in my first paper while I was on the road (thank you Brussels for having a hostel with semi-okay WiFi so I could turn my assignment in on time). |
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One big project that I've been working on has been finalizing a blog post regarding my travels. In order to do this I've needed to not only request pictures (as I, myself, did not take many) from my travel partner, but sort them, go through them (and delete most of them), and then start work on creatively putting them together into something meaningful that could somehow begin to portray even a semblance of what I experienced. This, admittedly, was easy right up until everything was put together and all that was left to do was write. Going through the pictures was a lot of fun, uploading them took a lot of time, and compiling them into a video format for the driving montage (link found below along with the beginning shell of a post for this road trip) has been fun because it means reliving pieces of my adventure in the most innocent way possible.
After a small rest to allow for my body to recover from exhaustion, I went back to volleyball and started working out again. It feels good to be back on a routine, cooking for myself, and only needing to worry about making sure I get to class on time but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss winging it on the road. These days, I find myself rather wrapped up in my studies and doing other productive things. I applied to attend another Partners in the Parks program through Edgewood. I have been in the works of securing a job to have in tandem with my internship in the fall (along with my two campus jobs). I have begun constructing a study plan for the remainder of my semester so that I can better organize the things I need to do (by that I mean read, since it's a lot). Tomorrow (Tuesday), I start another lecture course that will last only for the duration of March, followed by another course that will begin near the end of March and carry through the end of the semester. These are the only other lecture courses I have, otherwise the rest is self study (which I actually need to buckle down and start working on). I expect my life will be mostly work in the coming weeks but with little pieces of "play" sprinkled here and there. I look forward to what the rest of the semester will bring. |
Day 44/~200At the moment, I am only 12 hours away from beginning my journey to Amsterdam. I'm pretty much fully packed, save for chargers and things that I am currently using (laptop, duh). I will do my best to keep things updated here while I'm on the road as I will have to stop somewhere every night and as far as I'm aware all of those places have a suitable wifi connection. However, I wouldn't be too keen on seeing something every day since I will have much more important matters to attend to. I am admittedly, but reasonably, nervous since I've never done anything like this before, but I won't be alone, I have a plan, and it's only a matter of time until things set completely into motion and any worries melt away. Adventure is out there, you just have to be willing to go and find it.
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Day 43/~200Today is ystävänpäivä (Friend's Day in Finland, but otherwise known as Valentine's Day)! I celebrated by eating half of a strawberry jam swiss roll in one sitting (I deserve nice things too). Otherwise, my day was spent studying Finnish in preparation for my midterm exam, which I will be taking upon my return to Finland, and beginning the packing process for my road trip (instead of writing the paper that's due in 4 days). With only about 33 hours before I leave for my trip (sure it's only me walking to the bus station and then bussing to the airport, but it still counts as the start of my journey), I think I have everything I need. In fact, I was lucky enough that my package from home (thanks Charlie and Phoebe!) arrived in Turku and I was able to pick it up from the post office. In said package were all sorts of goodies but especially important was the film to my Polaroid camera! Now I can take a few (8 specifically) amazing photos during the adventure to come.
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Days 41 & 42/~200Recently, I traveled across town to an area I hadn't yet explored. On the way, I found myself surrounded by fields and crossed a river that's the direct product of a dam (obviously not pictured). This is the most open area I've found here in Turku. This doesn't mean that the city is devoid of natural life, but rather that finding it in such localized abundance was a pleasant surprise. It was fairly reminiscent of biking around Madison and finding myself on the strange back roads that no longer resemble the capital city but rather a town that you only recognize because of its proximity to a much better known city. Either way, this is a signal to me that there is plenty more exploring I need to do, including but not limited to Turku. Hopefully, this can happen shortly after my road trip should the weather remain tame.
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The whole reason I traveled across town to begin with was the promise of a haircut and the opportunity to pet a lot of rabbits. A friend of mine had hinted when I brought it up in passing that she had the tools and ability to cut my hair (which at the time was much needed). After conversing on the matter sometime later, she confirmed that she would cut my hair and would also allow for me to pet the many rabbits that she has housed in her apartment. I offered her compensation for this kind offer (what college kid doesn't love some extra money), but wound up cooking my first intentionally vegetarian dish (because what college kid doesn't love free food). It was a stir fry (of sorts) with rice and some seasoning. I'm happy that it turned out as well as it did and provided tasty leftovers (again, college kids - need I say more?). Now, as if food and excellent company weren't enough, I was able to get my fix of petting lovely animals. I find myself missing my cat a lot these days, so any contact I have with animals is wonderful, especially when a cat is one of those animals. However, the highlight is that I was able to pet and interact with award winning rabbits of all breeds, including velveteen (the softest living thing I've ever touched).
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Every night, Finnish skies light themselves on fire in brilliant displays of bright pinks and oranges. It's quite the sight to behold, and every single one I appreciate gets me more hyped for my upcoming trip (not because of the sunset itself but rather the idea that I will be watching the skies paint themselves in wild ways in countries all over Europe for the next two weeks). In just three days, I will be on a beach in Holland. I don't think I'll make it there in time to watch the sun set over the ocean, but regardless of this my excitement is bursting forth from my body in ways that are entirely new to me. I think it is a mix of terror and pure elation. I'm still not quite used to traveling alone, and though I won't be alone for the entire trip, I will spend at least the first half a day entirely on my own. In this time, I will need to make a supply run, pick up my rental car, and drive to my accommodations for the evening (a hostel on the coast; also not necessarily in this order). If I didn't think I was capable when I first flew to Finland, I sure as hell am capable now. At this rate, I think I could manage just about anything, and that is so gratifying to know.
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Days 38-40/~200As of late, I've done a good amount of preparation for my road trip. It's a good thing to keep on my mind because it's keeping me motivated. Currently, there are only five more days until I fly to Amsterdam and wind up on a beach in Holland for the night. This countdown feels like it's taking forever, but it's more than worth the wait.
Things are still relatively routine. I go to classes, I go to the gym, play volleyball, and find ways to entertain myself in my downtime. Otherwise, I've been spending a good amount of time hanging out and conversing with new-found friends. That being said, it's time to stress another important point... Ever since I came to Finland, I've found that I've been taking much better care of myself than I had in the US. I've been exercising regularly, remaining active, giving myself the time and space to do things, and doing what I can to eat consistent and healthy meals. The only thing that remains sort of out of whack has been my sleep schedule, but this is old news. However, my exhaustion has gotten the better of my a time or two and prevented me from doing some fun activities. By unfortunate coincidence I managed to fall asleep for a nap, sleep through my alarms, and wound up missing out on an event. It's not as though this means the end of the world, there will be other, similar events happening fairly frequently, but it's the idea that I missed out simply because I was tired and took a much needed nap. |
With that, I will say that it's not important for you to make every single event. The quality of your experience in something like study abroad is not judged based on how many events you attended, but rather the meaningful memories and moments you accumulate. You don't have to go to every party, or fill your time with so many activities that you're too busy or stressed to enjoy the simple things. In fact, part of studying abroad is actually studying and learning, but that doesn't mean that that's everything. It's all about living your life and finding yourself in new, unexplored territory.
To me, part of maximizing your experience and ensuring that you are bettering yourself in these situations is making the lifestyle changes to ensure you're taking good care of yourself. This means something different to everyone and will result in a different set of changes for each person, but I think the basics are clear: be active, make plans, make friends, eat good food, get some rest, have some time to yourself, and don't forget your homework. Really, at the end of the day, you should strive to be a better you than you were yesterday. |
Days 36 & 37/~200Seeing as, once again, nothing particularly fascinating is happening in my grossly civilian life, I've gotten around to doing some more thinking. Lots of interesting things have floated through my head the past couple of days in combination with continued planning of my upcoming road trip, but there's one thing I'd like to focus on for the time being: Asthma.
For a good majority of my life I was entirely unaware that I had asthma. In fact, any suspicions regarding the subject were chalked up to my not being in shape. This resulted in several asthma attacks over the span of my high school sports career and several near attacks in college. It wasn't until this past summer in 2016 that I was finally, formally diagnosed and given an inhaler. My doctor described it as having reactive airways. They are easily "inflamed", so to speak, when I'm active - meaning that any physical activity causes me to be short of breath and have difficulty catching my breath. Breathing isn't exactly something I ever thought I would have problems with, and as a reasonably active human being this is something that causes a fair amount of trouble. Sure, I am currently better equipped to deal with it than I was before, but that doesn't erase the fact that I still find myself getting winded fairly often. There is something utterly disheartening about walking up stairs, feeling like you've been climbing for long enough to be at the top only to look up and realize you still have a few flights to go. Traversing Edgewood was difficult for this reason, as the college isn't built out but rather up. Similarly with the University of Turku, I find myself climbing a lot of stairs and walking up a lot of hills, but I can't whip out my inhaler every time I wheeze my way to class since it has a limited number of uses. So, I make due. |
In this way, I suppose you could think about having asthma like needing to pick your battles with your own lungs. Needing to pick and choose which ones I can handle and deciding which ones warrant the use of my inhaler isn't always easy, and I've messed it up a few times already. By this, I mean I've used it when I didn't really need it and failed to use it when I could have used the help.
Asthma has never been big enough of a roadblock to prevent me from doing things. I've always been the person to persevere and push through the burning in my lungs that makes it feel like I'm drowning on dry land. Realistically, my asthma isn't as chronic as it is for others and I'm very thankful that a semi-mild case of asthma is the extent of my breathing problems. However, that doesn't stop me from reminiscing about a time when I was practically limitation free. For now, I'll count myself as one of the lucky ones. I'm out of breath because I'm busy trekking up ski mountains in my Converse, climbing the stairs of my campus to get to my Finnish Lessons, or walking all around the beautiful capital city of a country far from home. I doubt I'll ever really have a better excuse to be breathless. |
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Day 35/~200Believe it or not my sleep schedule has been absolutely wrecked as of late, and it's been causing some problems with focus and motivation. Today, I dedicated myself and all of the energy I could muster into getting back on track. My Finnish lesson went about as well as could be expected, I actually went to the gym, accomplished some reasonably productive things (albeit small), and was able to complete today's events with a treat.
As a member of Anglica ry, I participated in the annual bake sale by pairing up with my friend Alisa and making some baked goods to sell. For the first time in my life, I made a Swiss Roll. It was surprisingly simple, loads of fun, and turned out pretty delicious. Immediately after, we made some odd sort of spinach-feta cheese pastry things that also looked pretty tasty. It was a delightful and delicious way to end my day. |
As soon as I was left to my own devices, I went back to working on a tentative road map for my upcoming road trip through Europe. Now, what you see to the right are two alternate plans, the only difference between them being the direction of travel. Besides that, all of the cities on the list are the same and the driving time is pretty much similar (about 3 days total). Upon completing this document, I sent it off to be reviewed by my road trip buddy. Yes, I said buddy. That's right - in a strange turn of events, a dear friend of mine from the States has decided that he is going to come with me on this adventure and I couldn't be more excited about the whole thing. I find myself counting down the days, continuously planning a mental playlist of music to obtain for the incredibly long car ride that awaits, and I'm starting to get that impatient itch where 9 (from the time I'm writing this) days can't pass quickly enough for me to set off on what I think will be the biggest excursion of my entire life. I can't wait, and I'm so glad I'm able to share this experience with someone I care about. That, alone, is going to make all the difference. Good company, great views, and better music is all I really need.
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Days 33 & 34/~200My weekend has been reasonably mundane, perhaps more-so than is typical. I spent a good chunk of my time in bed, recuperating from my week and prepping for my next round of adventures. Sometimes I forget that not every day has to be exciting, thrilling, and ultimately different than my life was in the US. Studying abroad isn't all about having every day be a new adventure, it's about building adventures, experiencing a new life, all while still being able to sit back and relax like you always do. Come tomorrow, it's back to my usual schedule.
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Days 31 & 32/~200Thursday evening I attended my first Sitz hosted by the student organizations Anglica and Brittanica. The theme for this party was "overalls", the traditional garb of Finnish students attending parties of all kinds. Unlike the other students, my overalls are brand new and have not yet been decorated with the patches that represent all of the memories from various outings.
The Sitz was incredibly enjoyable and I had a lot of fun. The drinks were tasty, the food was good, but the company was far better. Here's a summary of the night that by no means does justice to the actual events: I sang in English, Swedish, German, and Finnish; performed a dramatic reading of Monty Python's Finland; avoided all semblance of punishment because I managed not to break any rules; made lots of new friends; and celebrated myself, my friends, my academic career, and my exchange here in Turku with one toast after another. |
Today, after a long night of Sitzing, I pulled myself together and made my way down toward the city center to catch a bus to Helsinki. ESN took us to the Fazer factory for a tour of the visitor's center. Fazer is one of the most well known food item brands in Finland. They make everything from baked goods to candies. Easily, they are most well known for their incredibly delicious chocolates, but they're also responsible for the very delicious apple pastry I purchased the other day along with breads and biscuits.
We learned all about the humble beginnings of Fazer, the raw materials used to make the chocolates, where the materials come from, the standards they hold themselves to, the production process, marketing, and so much more. At the end of the tour, there is a room with pillars and bowls of candy where you are welcome to eat as much chocolate as you can stomach (as far as I counted I ate the equivalent of 5 Fazer bars), take an olfactory tour of the chocolate ingredients, take a sit at the thought tree and share some ideas, and even go on a virtual reality tour of the working factories themselves. This is then immediately followed by an extensive gift shop that houses all of Fazer's candy products in all of their glory. |
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Upon leaving Fazer, we ventured further into the heart of the city to the Kiasma Museum of Contemporary Art. They are currently in the process of building a new exhibit, so one floor was almost entirely off limits, but I think the rest of the works housed there held their respective ground just fine.
A lot of what I witnessed here was rather graphic but necessary and informative about real world issues including female genital mutilation (FGM), acid attacks in India, and refugeeism in an exhibit called After the Turmoil. Many of the other works were abstract and obscure, mostly all by the same artist, Mona Hatoum. There were performative video pieces, sculptures, canvas work, and even scenes of metalwork and lights to cast meaning. One of my favorite pieces, not pictured, was a rotating metal arm with two differing ends over a drum of sand. One arm would create grooves in the sand while the other arm smoothed them back out. It was a surprisingly soothing thing to watch. I probably would have stayed to stare for much longer if I wasn't pressed for time. |
I spent the rest of my time in Helsinki browsing the market square. I made a few pit stops in distinctly "American" places just for comparison's sake. For example, I took it upon myself to get a late lunch from Burger King. Sadly, America really needs to step up their fast-food game. Not only was the food of higher quality, but the portions were actually of reasonable size (and price) instead of being too large or too small (and the Chicken Fries were fantastic, it was actually real chicken instead of mostly breading).
Otherwise, I dropped into a Starbucks, browsed a plant store, poked my head into the Moomin shop, but spent a decent amount of my time at Lush. For those of you who know me well, you know I enjoy bathing. Well, I sadly don't have a bathtub nor do I have access to one at all, but this doesn't stop me from enjoying a good shower with nice soaps and facial scrubs from time to time. It was also a great opportunity for me, a prospective Finnish Language student, to get some practice having casual conversation (or trying to at least). |
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After a quick group picture (also not in my ownership quite yet, but will be making an appearance soon, hopefully), we made our way back to Turku. I made a fast stop at my apartment before loading up a map on my phone and immediately heading back out into the night to go to a friend of a friend's house for a fantastic dinner. For the first time in my life, I was able to eat reindeer. It's a semi-difficult meat to describe. It's similar to venison for obvious reasons, and yet the meat isn't as chewy but it's not quite what I would call tough, it's a little saltier and lean, but absolutely delicious. Mashed potatoes are a great addition to any meal, and I happily scarfed them down with my reindeer. The small red portion on the plate (to the left) is lingonberry jam. This jam is supposed to go particularly well with reindeer. I can see why, because the berries are quite bitter and the meat quite salty and savory. Together, they were an interesting combination that I found myself not quite enjoying.
Following this delectable meal was a series of desserts. Between the carrot cake and the dark chocolate cheesecake, I thought I had had it all, but all stops were pulled out when fresh cloudberries were placed on the counter. The cloudberries were intended to go with a bread and cheese dish where they would be sprinkled on top with some sugar. I tasted the bready-cheese dish, found that I wasn't quite a fan, and happily resigned myself to eating raw cloudberries (one of my new favorite food items). The raw berries are quite different from the cakes and the jam in that they are a bit bitter with a very sweet aftertaste. I think the jam and the cakes are more refined and are appealing in that they have the more subtle cloudberry flavor. Regardless, they are wonderful and I plan to keep a steady supply of jam for myself in my apartment to eat at my leisure with toast and cookies. If the food weren't good enough, the company is always better, and I'm happy to report that I had a very relaxed evening with new-found (and some old) friends. |
Day 30/~200I woke up far too early this morning, much too sore from the past couple of days to follow through on my Wednesday gym routine, and instead decided to take on some busy-desk-work. The day started with an appointment at my Finnish bank to confirm my monthly rent payments and set up automatic withdrawal so I don't have to make further appointments in order to pay my bills. Following this, I met with my Finnish-Tandem partner and put together a tentative course template of what our semester will look like as a learning pair. Then, after my Finnish lesson, I had lunch with some friends and proceeded to delay the purchase of the overalls that will officially initiate me into Finnish Student Culture (to no fault of my own, the office was closed) by printing off a lot of paperwork at the library. After filling out all (or most) of this paperwork, I took it upon myself to (excitedly) file my tax return for the year.
Now, this is where the real exhilarating news comes in. I saw an opportunity and I took it. Fifteen days from when I am writing this (timing not exact given that it's currently 10pm), I will be setting foot on a bus, going to the Helsinki-Vantaa airport, flying to Amsterdam where I will pick up my rental car, and spend a grand total of eleven days road-tripping through Europe before I drop the car off, fly back to Helsinki, and bus back to Turku to continue my life as a student. This is, by far, the most adult thing I have done with my adult life (especially in one sitting). Regardless, my plans are set, I am mentally preparing myself, and I've started the countdown. Ideally, I will be able to continue to post things while I'm on the road because the amount of incredible things I am going to witness will be astronomical and I will need an outlet just to be able to wrap my head around things. I'm going to have a lot to say, I'm going to have a lot of pictures to post, and I'm so excited about this I might just run screaming down the hallway. There are bigger, better things in this world than me - and I intend to experience all of them in due time. |
Day 29/~200So, exciting news everyone! It's been a couple of weeks since I turned in my application, but I recently received word that I was accepted as an ISEP Voices blogger for the Spring of 2017. What this means is that ISEP, the program I used to fulfill my exchange semester in Finland, will be publishing posts that I make regarding my experience and be using my pictures to help promote study abroad. This is not something I will be paid to do, but regardless of that I am very excited to be afforded this opportunity.
Today, I attended a webinar orientation program to go through the logistics of what is expected of me and what I can expect from this position. This is an entirely new community of people I will be exposed to and be "working with". Ideally, this will also mean that I have another awesome network of people to utilize as resources. Perhaps this will, once again, be a chance for me to explore a career path I had previously considered, but either way it enables me to practice something that I already enjoy and explore doing so at a more professional level. Just another skill set to add to the books. It's alright if you don't know what you need. |
I've been doing some more thinking recently. I used to get really stressed out because I felt like I never had anything figured out. For a long time, I didn't know where I wanted to go to college or what I wanted to do for a career or where I would live. It took a lot for me to find any kinds of answers, even vaguely. I came to the conclusion some time ago that I didn't really need to have answers, and that I had all the time in the world to figure things out. You really don't need to have your life mapped out. It's not important to have answers and definitive goals so much as to have something that you're striving for, even if you don't quite know what that is.
I think it's really important to be able to explore what you enjoy and dabble in the things that you like to do in order to get ideas as to what you'd like to do for a job. I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I don't have a post-college plan just yet, even though I'm on the brink of my senior year. Really, I'm just learning about the things that I'm passionate about and am hoping to make them useful and applicable in a field where I, in the vaguest of senses, can use my skills to do right by people. So, take a breath, take your time, and don't be afraid to explore. I know that it can feel overwhelming when you're bombarded with questions you feel you need answers to. But, above all, remember that it's okay to not know. It's alright. There is no real pressure to figure it all out on the spot. Even if you think you know, it's okay to change your mind. It's not "speak now or forever hold your peace". Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You have all the time in the world. You have all the time you need. |
Day 28/~200Since nothing of particular interest has been happening, I figured I'd share some odd little things that I've noticed that I failed to note prior.
1) I'm used to seeing gas stations with pumps and a convenience store on the same property/lot. However, I have seen several gas stations here that consist of just the pumps. I'm assuming you can only pay for gas at these stations using a card, given that there would be no "pay inside" option (unless of course the pumps are capable of taking cash). 2) There are lots of problems with ice and snow causing the terrain (unfortunately hill covered) to be rather slippery. Finland adopted a policy to get around this since it's such a common problem and made it so that it has little to no environmental impact. Instead of using salt or chemicals (or sand/cheese rind) they use pebbles. These pebbles freeze into the ice and provide traction for people walking and cycling. 3) Cloudberries are amazing. I found a semi-inexpensive cloudberry jam and against all odds (given that I don't particularly enjoy jellies and jams) purchased it. It's just as amazing as I thought it would be, and I rue the day when I will inevitably need to give them up. They're native to arctic swamps and very hard to acquire in places where they do not grow. In the US, it's virtually impossible to get them at all and the only forms I've found that can make it to the states are in preserves or jams. I may need to utilize those services sometime. I know I'll crave them one day. |
4) Post office boxes can be found practically everywhere. Since I don't technically have a mailbox attached to my apartment (my mail is shoved through a slot in my door) in any way, shape, or form, mailing things proves difficult since the nearest post office is about a half an hour away. So, I'm thankful to be seeing Posti boxes all over the place so I can mail letters and postcards with ease.
5) ATMs are also fairly common. More often than not I see them outside, hanging off the side of a building with a small, yellow overhang and a sign that reads "Otto". I'm glad I can directly withdraw euros at the ATM rather than withdrawing USD and then needing to take it to a place like Forex so that I might exchange it. 6) Student culture, particularly college culture, revolves around social drinking as is common in most places (especially the US). However, there are specific traditions associated with the student drinking culture here that I find interesting. Students wear overalls covered in patches from all kinds of places and events. The different colors of the overalls help to designate where a student is from. Sometimes various fields of study have different colors associated with them (i.e. dark blue to English Students, light blue for Exchange Students). 7) Finnish candy is drastically different than American candy. One of the biggest local candies is salmiakki, which is basically salty, black licorice. In comparison to my sweet-accustomed, US taste buds, this candy is pretty gross. However, even "standard" candies are significantly less sweet. The chocolate here is a bit more bitter, more pure in a sense, and definitely richer. 8) Instead of having grocery scales be at the register for a cashier to weigh and price accordingly, shoppers must weigh their produce at a weigh station and then print the appropriate ticket which will tell you the price of your items. Seems like a much more convenient system for cashiers if you ask me. It takes much less time to scan a tag than it does to weigh and price an item. |
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Days 26 & 27/~200It never quite ceases to amaze me just how civilian my life remains. By that, I mean that I continue with my typical ways of life with its standard responsibilities as if I was still at home. Sometimes I wake up half expecting to be home, and I'm not (not that that's a bad thing).
Nothing particularly exciting has occurred the past couple of days other than binge watching Westworld and Ripper Street, doing my laundry, having some conversations with friends back home, and confirming my plans for the week. It's going to be a long week, so in a sense I'm glad I have the downtime now to be able to recharge and ready myself. (To the left are some photos from our trip to Lapland that were posted recently) |
Day 25/~200There are a lot of things that I've wanted to try but never quite had the guts to do. I held myself back from doing a lot of things in the past, and I let the idea that I needed a specific set of resources and opportunities stand in my way one too many times. Now, I suppose it's my chance to really let loose. I'm using my experience abroad to say "No more holding back. Live."
Today, I tried my hand at laser-tag. It seems so silly to say that I've always wanted to play laser-tag because it looked ridiculously fun and yet I could either 1) not afford it 2) didn't know where to look 3) didn't know who I would go with 4) maybe didn't have the time 5) never had the courage, I guess. However, the opportunity presented itself, I talked some people I knew into coming with me, and I went. |
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As it turns out, I'm actually pretty good at laser-tag. My score wasn't the best, but I had the second highest percentage for accuracy. I'll take being tanked 7/16 players as a good first time run. This opportunity arose thanks to ESN. We went to Megazone, a place near the city center sort of below a supermarket that's all black lights and useless, spray painted walls. It was a pretty cool environment to be in. Normally in these situations, I find myself holding back to some extent as not to embarrass myself but I noticed very quickly that any shyness melted away and I was ready for some intense battle to take place. It was a very fun experience and I would definitely love to do it again sometime despite not being particularly skillful at it.
What I am good at however, as will be noted time and time again, is volleyball. Once again, I traveled to the Ruiskatu sports facilities and played volleyball with a number of other skilled players. I usually show up early enough where I warm up during the beginner's session. More often than not the people playing during the beginner's session invite me to play. Today, at the end of our game, one girl told me that I was a talented player and that I should teach them. This was a great compliment. I think it carried me through the better part of the night seeing as my team won 4/4 games. I even jump-served the entirety of the four games and found that I have been improving in many more ways than I have in a long time and it feels good. Maybe more than good, great may be more applicable. Really, I think things are coming together just as they needed to - with some help of course. For that much, I'm glad. |
Days 23 & 24/~200With my schedule the way it is (fairly open),I have a lot of time to do other things. I've had lots of time to go to the gym, travel, walk around, do assignments thoroughly but at a good pace instead of hurriedly, make plans and not fear being pressed by the looming threat of deadlines, but most of all I've had a lot of time to think. I've been doing some thinking. Really, I've done a lot of thinking. I suppose, in some respects, you could say I've spent a lot of time getting lost in my own head. So, allow for me to give you some insight on what's been going on with me...
In one of my classes we are learning about a concept known as "the sign". The easiest way to explain this is as follows: there is an image and a sound pattern (a word). They relate to one another, the intent being that they trigger one another, and their connection is arbitrary. For example: an image of a tree and the word "tree". This seems easy when it comes to objects, but it becomes significantly more complicated when you start thinking about concepts. How about the "self"? What image comes to someone's head when they hear your name? Is it static? Where do "you" end? I've been thinking a lot about my body. I've been working out, eating healthy, trying to take care of myself and become someone who is satisfied with their physical being. My body ends at the lines that have been defined by my cells on a microscopic scale but this is not where I end. I am more than just my physical presence. |
I go infinitely beyond my own recognition of myself. I am a living, complex creature whose influence has impacted those around me in ways that I cannot even begin to fathom. In this respect, I think I end when people stop knowing my name and when that name is no longer associated with my image, when the memory of who I am, was, and could have been disappear. I think I end when my influence and teachings are integrated into others in such a way where they no longer belong to me or could be considered a lingering part of me and as such when my specific influence is no longer practiced or associated with me.
On the molecular level, I matter because I am matter. Because matter cannot be created or destroyed, I can say with certainty that my molecules are the weathered, reused parts of the universe. I suppose you could argue that I am a reborn part of time and space. There is iron in my veins, stardust in my bones, and electricity in my brain. So, when I die and inevitably decompose or have my ashes spread across the land, my molecules will return to the natural system and be cycled back into use by living things. In this way, I will always BE. Perhaps not myself, not me specifically, not the idea of me or my influence, but rather something that was once a part of me still exists somewhere in the world. Something about this is both comforting and terrifying. Who is to say where my molecules will go and what they will do as time progresses? I can only guess and have hope that it will be something great. |
I think the power we have over ourselves is underrated. As autonomous beings, we are capable of doing whatever we want, being whoever we want, and going wherever we want. To some extent, there are other factors that limit us from self-actualizing (i.e. finances, societal norms, fear). However, at the end of the day, the only person/thing standing in your way is you.
I wouldn't call myself the master of my own fate, because fate is a much larger concept than me. I would, however, call myself the master of ME. I belong deeply and only to myself. My body, my mind, my business, my choice, and my subsequent consequences. No one can take those things away from me or exert any more control over them than I allow for them to. I recently came to the glaring realization that I deserve to be happy and that I have the capacity to be exactly that. This was a rather shocking and startling realization to have because it felt so sudden and out of the blue, as if, somehow, up to this point in my life I had never genuinely said those words to myself (by that I mean, said it and meant it, or felt that I meant it). The hardest part of knowing this is: it's up to me. I am the one who controls my circumstances (to a large extent) and therefore controls my internal and external environment enough to be able to exert a certain amount of control over my mood and general well-being. I control my lifestyle. I control myself. Maybe it took stepping pretty far outside of myself to be able to see that, but I'm glad that it came to light (better late than never I suppose). |
For a very long time, I was terrified to leave my life behind. How could I leave my friends, my family, and my pets behind? For much longer, I had lusted after the idea that I could pack up, disappear, go somewhere (anywhere) where (virtually) no-one knew my name, and start fresh. I think this feeling came from the idea that I felt deeply homesick for a place I was entirely unsure existed. Perhaps I was homesick for myself - like my body had yet to be deemed my home but rather it was a place that I was inhabiting until further notice. So, I guess you could say that I was homesick because I was trying to find myself.
I can say with a deep and fulfilled sense of pride that walking away from my life was the best thing that's ever happened to me. Sure, I miss some aspects of "home", like my people, my job, my typical routine, my cat; but as time continues to pass and the reality of my time abroad becomes much more prominent, I have found that this is not only a much needed break from my life but an incredible opportunity to learn about myself and grow as a person. This is where I find myself. |
In class, I am challenged. Sure, my "homework" load is significantly different (and much easier to bear because it is much less than I am used to), but the content forces me to think much harder than I feel I have in a long time. I am not bored in my classrooms, but rather readily engaged. I am not watching the clock looking to see when class is over, but instead class ends before I know it and I find myself wishing that we had just a little more time. The University of Turku and Åbo Akademi University have successfully renewed my drive to learn and apply my knowledge.
For a long time, school consumed my life to a point where I didn't have the time or (if I had the time) the energy to be able to properly engage in a social life that wasn't related to work. Now, there's no job, and my coursework is entirely manageable. I've found that I've been making more plans, I've been going out more, and I've actually been traveling. In summary, I'm living again (or at least I'm living like I've always wanted to) and there's no pressure to do it the "right" way. I am incredibly fortunate to have been awarded this opportunity to study in Finland, and I continue to be lucky in the experiences that I have here. I am thankful and eternally grateful for everyone who helped get me here, myself included. The moral of my story is this... Stop standing in your way. Be your own ally. Be willing to do what it takes to realize your dreams and provide yourself the resources to make them reality. Never be afraid to live the life you want. Most importantly: fearlessly and unapologetically be YOU. |
Day 22/~200Since I didn't take any photos today, here are some of the outstanding photos from my trip to Lapland that just got uploaded for me to use. The photo to the right is from the Santa Claus Village (obviously) and the photo below is a group picture of (most of) the people who went on the trip during out pit stop at the Kemi Snow Castle. Both photos were provided by ESN.
Today was simple: sleep in, lunch, register to go play laser tag on Friday, grocery shop, volleyball. My Student Tutor was kind enough to take me and two other students to lunch today to show us the cafeteria area, explain how it works, and just chat about how things are going for us all so far here in Turku. |
Turns out, the cafeteria I went to was one I didn't even know existed, near a grocery store that is much closer than the other one I've been frequenting (they're even the same store), and their food is delicious. I guess I'll have to start going there more often.
I finished my day off with another awesome round of volleyball. It feels so good to be back on the court again playing at the competitive level. A Finnish boy asked me while I was warming up if I had played before playing with CampusSport. I told him yes (approximately 13 years of experience, really). What he told me afterwards was very kind, even if he doesn't realize what an impact it had on me. He said, "It shows." The idea that after years of hard work and dedication to the sport that it shows that I am an experienced player really makes me happy. Things can only really (hopefully) get better from here as I continue to work on my internship paperwork. Ireland, I'm counting on you. |
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Days 20 & 21/~200Our final day in Levi consisted of a semi-frantic cleaning spree in our cabin followed by regrouping at Hullu Poro to load everyone on the buses and head for home. We had one last pit stop on the way back that held any kind of significance and that was a tour of the Kemi Snow Castle. This building is constructed once a year by a team of very talented individuals who skillfully mold ice and snow into shape and every year the castle is different from years prior. The amount of detail and care that are put into this project every year is simply astounding. All of the pictures to the left show the intense amount of work that goes into creating the snow castle. There are murals, portraits, tables, and carvings that are purely ice and snow. There aren't any supports, no steel framing or scaffolding, just everything frozen and solidified by natural temperatures.
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The castle also houses a small hotel, making it much larger than I had originally imagined. But, what I thought was funny is that, by law, this establishment had fire extinguishers placed in nearly every room. I don't suppose a fire would be particularly threatening given that eventually the castle will melt (and it's snow...the fire would run out of fuel pretty quickly) and need to be made again the following year, but I imagine premature melting would be an unfortunate disaster to the attraction.
After our visit, we spent a heinously long time on the bus (again) to get back to Turku and ensure that everyone was dropped off at their respective living spaces. It was 5am when I returned to my apartment, and much later by the time I finished my homework. Unfortunately, I fell asleep for a "nap" and slept through my alarm and subsequently most of my class. Good thing I only had one class and the professor was very understanding. Now it's time to learn how to count in Finnish... |
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Days 17-19/~200The funny thing about meeting people by pure happenstance is that those tend to be the people you truly connect with and wind up spending a good amount of your time with. The people I happened to find because we were all looking for the same thing are most definitely the people I have befriended and come to be close with in drastic comparison to even those whom I live with in my cottage.
Now, there's one thing that every visitor of the far north has in common, beyond the thrill of seeking a Husky Safari, and that is to witness the Northern Lights in all of their glory. Rumors of their appearance travel on the tongues of tourists like whispers in the wind - everything from the best day to see them, the best location, and even the best hours of the night. It is a tango you play with time spiced up with a little bit of luck. |
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Useful tools are readily available at the fingertips of those who seek them. Finland even has a website that not only shows electromagnetic disturbances (which are much higher when the lights are around) but they have cameras in various locations all over the country to give you a clear view of the night sky (they even update once a minute so you can get a picture of what you're getting yourself into).
I chose to abide by science rather than taking my chances and pressing my luck. So, I started regularly checking the website from the early hours of the night until the early morning. I didn't quite know what I was looking for until it hit me square in the face. I have never run out of a cabin so quickly in my entire life. Hell, I've never put on a pair of pants that fast. Once outside, I didn't know what to do or where to go or where to look. Instead, I just started running in one direction, trying to glance past the clouds, until I found a dark area and stood in the snow with my neck craned and my head tilted backwards. I managed a few glimpses before the clouds rolled in and overtook the sky. |
The following photos of the Northern Lights are courtesy of (in no particular order): Dmitriy Yeliferov, Vika Korolenko, Julvin Chong, Alireza Saeidian, Tom Van der Berg, Coen Lorinser, Cortez Tafoya, and Cathy Nguyen. At first, it was hard to believe what I had just seen. It felt more like my eyes were playing tricks on me than I had witnessed some great natural wonder. Strange, fleeting lights in the sky that caused the edges of the clouds to glow with a deep, emerald hue seem more improbable and mystical than something to witness. But there I was, feet on the ground and head in the clouds, waiting in the cold for them to return. Hint: they did not - and no amount of moseying around was going to change that.
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I would love to title this section "Chasing Lights" because that more accurately sums up how myself and those around me spent the next few days. It's funny how quickly you become obsessed. Just a few seconds of the spectacle and suddenly you can't think of anything else. I even dreamt about the way they twist and curl like bubbles in water. Clearly, I was desperate to be able to say that I had watched them appear in the night sky and like lightning, strike me.
In the north, light is scarce - not as scarce as it was even just a couple weeks ago, but it is still in rather short supply. The sun rises late and sets early (about 9ish to 4ish). What this meant to us, however, was that there was plenty more time and many more chances for the lights to appear and for us to catch them like a child trying to catch bugs on a warm summer's day. But, there were activities to do, shops to visit, and other things that needed to be thought about. So, I went for a night hike. At the start of this all, I signed up to go snowshoeing because I had never done it before and I love a good hike (even in the cold). What I didn't know upon signing up was that this snowshoe event would take place during the night. Our guides took us by starlight alone into the forest and we trailed behind like ducklings, eyes firmly fixed on the sea of constellations above us rather than the path before us. We trekked our way across a frozen river, made camp at an old cabin, and sat around a fire with sausages, hot berry juice, and cloud-berry cakes. And all at once, in the serenity of the frozen night, they appeared once more. |
Sometimes you just need to experience the world without trying to take pictures of the things that you're looking at (partly why I'm glad others were getting pictures, because I was far too caught up in the moment). One thing no one seems to mention about the Northern Lights is that their vibrancy shows up better on camera than it does to the naked eye. Regardless of this fact, watching the sky light up with waves of light was something else.
Standing on a frozen river, watching the lights consume a portion of the night sky makes you realize just how small you are in the grand scheme of things. The universe is an endless, unexplored ocean, and beneath it, I am but a human being navigating a world that is only a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of our galaxy as a whole. Your problems melt away for a moment, and all that matters is that there is air in your lungs and that you're in good company while you gaze into the abyss. |
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With the grace, beauty, and majesty of the lights on my mind, I felt at peace. Though, I spent a lot of the next day lost in my head, thinking about significance, whether or not I really needed to shower, uncertainty, directionality, dinner, and the butterfly effect. Realistically, they were more like passing thoughts than great, philosophical ventures.
I did practically nothing over the course of the day, aside from wandering and spending far too long thinking about practical souvenirs for both myself and others. For the first time in my adult life, I purchased a pair of winter boots. More than likely, I was late on the draw given that I had already had my fair share of adventures using only my converse paired with several layers of socks and proven that I would be okay. But, they say it's better to be late to the party than never show up at all. I picked up a couple things here and there and then on a whim decided to check out the Levi spa. They offered massage packages, so naturally I decided that whatever available package they had for the day was the one I needed. A (too) short, 20 minute, shoulder massage later and I was feeling like I could do anything. That is, until doing something meant gearing up and trudging into the snow covered world in search, once again, of the Northern Lights. It took almost two hours on the shores of a frozen lake before we decided that nothing was to be seen aside from sweet nothings whispered by the lights. They were there, somewhere, it was just that whatever we were looking at was hard to see and ultimately was not living up to our expectations. |
If anything, the lights are fleeting. They are spontaneous (to a point) and always seem to be just out of reach even if they ghost past your fingertips. The problem being that the expectation is for them to roar across the sky, twisting and turning like coves of snakes as their colors paint the landscape in dull glow. No, I did not watch color mysteriously appear in the sky and tear through the snow. No, I didn't settle into a pool of light and experience enlightenment. But I did watch them dance across the sky like no one could possibly be watching, and there I was with many others who just wanted to dance with them in the darkness.
The Sami people believe that the Northern Lights are caused by the Fire Fox. This fox is a creature that runs with such great speed that the impact of its tail to the snow causes sparks of color to explode into the air in its wake. Perhaps if you are quiet, the foxes will draw near until they are ready to dart. Do not scare them away. |
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Chasing ghosts in the dead of night is fun and all, but waking up to a beautiful sunrise knowing that my day begins (and ends, kind of) on a Husky Farm was particularly exciting. A short trip toward the edge of town, and suddenly I was on a farm where a man and his wife breed Huskies and have made a business offering excursions with their many teams. There were about 80 dogs on the farm in total, a select few of whom have run the Iditarod race alongside their owner.
After a short driving lesson, we were off. I sat, pulled behind a team of five gorgeous dogs into the forest and through a field of sun-kissed snow. Again, the first word to describe this experience is serenity, maybe bliss. It's incredible and it feels more as though perhaps you are experiencing a particularly vivid dream that you could wake up from at any moment, except that you are fully aware that your eyes are wide open and you can feel the wind sting as it hits your face and chills your fingers to the bone. |
As much as I was tempted to remain seated for this 5km run, I was much more set on getting to drive. Dog sleds are machines, in a way, despite their wooden structures and seemingly shabby breaking system. However, they are surprisingly easy to drive at slow speeds. Keep your knees flexible, pay attention to the path and to the dogs, and make sure to break lightly around corners. It takes a little getting used to, because once again it's hard to believe that this is all really happening to you, but it's pretty easy to get into the swing of things. Driving the sled is like being part of the machine. You are essentially a steering wheel for all the "horse"power. Powerful, lovely animals pull you into the snow-scape and you aren't just along for the ride, you're part of it.
Embrace the chaos. Enjoy the ride. |
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After my ride, there was plenty of downtime to be able to admire, pet, and take pictures with these wonderful creatures. I may be allergic to dogs, but that won't stop me from petting them and showing them love.
Long after I returned to my cabin for the day, I realized that my time here in Levi was limited. I pleaded with myself to find something else to do, somewhere else to go, but instead I resigned myself to do a little bit of studying (practicing my Finnish), a little bit of relaxing (I was due for a shower and a good lunch), and some mild socializing (vising friends in another cottage is a great way to escape the party in your own) because at the end of the day, I realized that I did plenty of amazing things for one week. I was fortunate enough to witness the Northern Lights for four nights in a row. The last of which I did not need to run for, I didn't even need to put on pants (they were already on), but rather I just strolled outside and gazed into the sky with adoration and the lingering promise of better things to come. |
Days 14-16/~200The day of my first Finnish lesson, I was already thinking about what to pack. Admittedly, I should have started packing sooner, and at the very least I should have been more worried about the fact that I would be missing two classes in order to attend a trip with ESN to Lapland. The map to the left shows the distance traveled. We left at 8:30pm, made a pit stop at 12am, another at 4:30am, and arrived to one of our destinations by about 9am.
The bus ride was long. I had originally figured that I would sleep a good portion of it, then I remembered that more often than not I have trouble sleeping in moving vehicles. From there, I resigned myself to the fact that I would be reading most of the time, only to remember that I get motion sick if I read too long. So, I packed a book, a puzzle game, and tried to fill the rest of the space with snacks. I wound up sitting next to one of the only other Americans I have met on this trip thus far. We had a lovely, lengthy conversation about the differences and similarities of Colorado and Wisconsin, our motivations for being in Finland, what we were expecting out of our trip to Lapland, and just general babble. The time passed a lot quicker with someone to converse with, and I can say I enjoyed my travel time a lot more than I would have had I sat next to someone who I never spoke to. Thanks, at least, for that. |
Early Tuesday morning, we arrived at Santa Claus's Village in Rovaniemi, Finland. There was a mysticism about the place because even though it was about 9am, it was still rather dark. The entire place is coated in Christmas lights, and was much smaller than imagined but charming. There were several gift shops, a cafe/restaurant, a place for people to take sled rides with reindeer, and a post office where you can send letters and postcards to friends and family.
Santa's workshop itself was wildly impressive and intricate. There were all sorts of little designs, letters, moving parts, and pictures that really sold the whole show. Honestly, Santa doesn't live in the north pole (I would know, the man himself told me - photo to come later), he lives in Rovaniemi. What a wonderful place to take children for adventuring - especially since the northern lights are often visible from the cottages here. |
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Another while later, around 2pm, we arrived at our final destination for the day: Levi. Immediately, we were taken to our cottages and told to settle in for the night. Free time is just that, free. No one to tell us what to do, and yet my cottage-mates and myself shared some stories and introductions with one another, made some food and then spent the night relaxing. I wound up curling up in bed with John Green's Looking for Alaska (I finished most of the book in a single sitting).
The cottages are truly amazing. There is a home-like feel to them that simply can't be replicated by cheap commercialism. The whole place is warm and well equipped with both modern and simple pleasures including WiFi, a fireplace lounge with a TV, a sauna, and a cozy living room space connected to a kitchen (pictures of the inside to come later as well). Honestly, I think I could get used to this except that it continues to dispel the reality that I am not here for vacation, I'm here for school - but I guess part of being an exchange student is living while you learn and I think I'm doing okay. |
One of the more difficult things about attending trips like this is that often times there are limited spaces for activities. I happened to be at a very intense volleyball game while the sign ups were posted and only managed to snag a spot snowshoeing (not that I'm complaining because I think that's awesome, and since I've never gone before it will be even more of an adventure). I was a little upset that I would be unable to go on the husky safari that I so desperately wanted to. This would include being able to drive a husky sled with a partner for 5km, snacks and refreshments at the halfway point, and a while afterwards to hang out at the Husky Farm where we would be able to meet and pet the animals, including the puppies and reindeer. Missing out on this, especially as someone who had worked at a pet store most of the year, was pretty saddening.
However, I was added to a group chat on Facebook with other prospective exchange students looking to find a way for us to attend one of the safaris. So, nine of us wandered around the city center today attempting to find a travel agency that was offering the husky safari for a reasonable price. It took a while and a little bit of searching, but we managed to find an open booking - meaning that on Saturday I will be driving a husky sled. I don't think I could be more excited. It's amazing to see what a group of desperate students will do to make the experience of a lifetime even more memorable. I made a lot of new friends today because of that and subsequently wound up spending the remainder of my day with them. |
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On a whim, these eight others and myself decided that we would spend the day together. This turned into a makeshift hiking excursion on a pre-determined path in the woods off to the side of the ski slopes. Arbitrary decisions as to which path we should take up this mountain wound up getting us nearly to the top. It took a lot of struggling to get up there. It was slippery, the snow was deep, and the mountain proved to be much steeper than we originally thought, but once we broke beyond the tree canopy, we found amazing sights waiting for us. We may have even gotten slightly lost (though we had a good idea of where we needed to go, and it wasn't hard at all to follow our own footprints back down the hill), but I guess the scenery was worth it. It felt like we were, and to some degree we really were, standing on top of the world together. You could see for miles, far over the ski resort, far into the distance, and far beyond ourselves.
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One thing I've learned while being surrounded by those who do not necessarily speak my native tongue as I do, is that other forms of communication are key to getting on each others' levels. I've been using a lot of gestures and working through my limited mental thesaurus for synonyms and odd, roundabout ways to describe things just to make things easy.
However, one thing is the same no matter where you are: laughter. It didn't matter that I share a cottage with a Colombian, a Mexican, a German, and six French, and it didn't matter that I spent the day with a Ukrainian, a Russian, someone from the Czech Republic, a couple from Asia, some from Pakistan, and a Belgian girl - at the end of the day, laughter is the brightest thing we had in common and it got us to rest easy in a cottage together and it got us to the top of that mountain. It sounds the same no matter what language you speak and it is always infectious. It is definitely one of the most excellent ways to befriend one another, to get to know each other, and to create lasting, happy memories. So, while you're out there living your life, don't forget to laugh at yourself and laugh with others, it lends itself to a much better and more radiant existence for all. In fact, science tells us that laughter is physically and psychologically healthy for you and those around you. I guess you can chalk a good laugh up to self-care. |
They say that when you're walking through life, you should remember to look up every once in a while. They also say that when you're climbing, you shouldn't look down. To accommodate a little bit of both, I chose to keep my head low but my eyes on the prize: the top. |
Days 12 & 13/~200Saturday morning rolls around and I wake up long before my alarm ever goes off, refreshed with a new sense of adventure and excitement. Anticipation and mild anxiety slowly overtake my initial feelings considering I needed to get on a bus, travel two hours East to Finland's capital, and wander a city I've only ever seen briefly (and in the dark, no less) upon first landing in Finland.
There is something advantageous about being foreign to Finland, and something even more wildly advantageous about being foreign to Europe. What this means is that, as an American, I am so drastically unaccustomed to how things work that people are more sympathetic when there is something I don't quite understand or when I am afraid of getting lost and need directions. I have many strangers to thank for successfully being able to navigate Finland, and on a lesser scale the University buildings to find my classrooms. People's willingness to help and make exceptions for me does not make me unintelligent, it does not make me a burden, nor does it make me an inconvenience. What this does say about me is that I am an inexperienced traveler who is still getting used to things. What I'm trying to say is that the listings for the bus locations were a little confusing, especially since the English translations to Finnish websites aren't always perfect. I'm trying to say I made a small mistake and took us to the wrong bus stop, making my friend and I miss our bus to Helsinki at 7:50 in the morning. Thankfully, the bus driver was generous enough to let us ride anyways, despite our lack of proper tickets, since we were all going to the same place; and after two hours of being half asleep on a long-haul OnniBus, we arrived in Helsinki, Finland. |
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As can be expected with many major cities all over the world, Helsinki's city center has been overrun by commercialism and jam packed with malls. There are many shops, most of which are similar in many respects to that of America (i.e. Vans and H&M). Hell, there was even a Ben and Jerry's ice cream stand. What I did not expect to see were supermarkets interspersed within the mall area and a distinct lack of fast food style restaurants, replaced instead by places to sit down, relax, and grab a bite to eat.
One particularly adorable store that we spent some time in was the Moomin Shop. Moomins are little critters from a children's TV program that originated as a comic series. Japanese animators teamed up with Finnish voice actors and produced the series, which was quickly followed by mass production of products from backpacks, to mugs, to chocolates. Apparently, Moomins are commonplace in nearly every household, and there is no escaping them. I might even watch the show just to practice my Finnish. |
There is some sense of accomplishment and serenity when you travel alone. You are able to reflect while exploring, and you are able to go at your own pace. However, these are not necessarily memorable times or moments during travel. I wholeheartedly believe that part of what makes traveling so special is that you do not have to be alone, and in my honest opinion, nor should you be. Nothing beats good company on a new journey. Conversation is sparked, passions unveiled, photos taken with glee, jokes are made, laughs are shared, you are able to hold each other back but also push each other to explore areas one might not have considered, and above all you grow and develop together. I believe these things are essential in creating lasting, meaningful memories. Besides, life is just so much more enjoyable when you have a companion to share it with.
It's dangerous to go alone. Take this! After a dramatic rendition of Adele's Hello to one another, I realized that college really is the place where you meet all of your lifelong friends, even if those friends are halfway across the world from you and you will eventually leave them. Goodbyes aren't forever, they're just another way to say "until we meet again".
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The better part of our journey was spent on foot, trekking the city streets. Plenty of buses and taxis flew past, along with the city's tram system (or as I called them "bus trains"). I have never had the opportunity to ride on a trolley, but perhaps Europe will grant me that strange privilege.
From a distance, Solomia and myself spotted what appeared to be a Ferris wheel. My assumption was that there was a fairgrounds or amusement park on the coast that was closed down for the winter months. However, when it started moving, we immediately bee-lined toward it. Turns out, this Ferris wheel like thing was a SkyWheel, which is basically a Ferris wheel with closed, glass carts meant to be used as an observation deck. From the top of the wheel, the city comes into view through blue tinted glass and you really begin to realize how small you are. There aren't skyscrapers here, but rather cathedrals whose towers threaten to puncture the clouds. |
I have only ever been to one other Hard Rock Cafe, and it was the one in Time Square, New York. The food was pricey but very good, and the atmosphere was worth every penny. Solomia had never been to one, so we decided that this would be our dinner destination. Every Hard Rock Cafe differs pretty greatly from any other anywhere else in the world, save for the fact that they play good music and have some items from staple artists like John Lennon and Kiss.
I ordered an herb grilled chicken breast with garlic mashed potatoes and broccoli. This was probably one of the better meals I've ever paid for in a restaurant. To top it all off, I bought a slice of delectable Oreo cheesecake that I split with Solomia. Between the food, the dessert, and each other's presence, we spent a good amount of time in this restaurant just talking. I feel like this was an amazing bonding experience. Good company and good food makes for an excellent day, to say the least. |
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All photos from this point to the end of today's post were taken by Solomia Gera of S. Gera Photography. They do not belong to me nor to I claim to own them, but please show her some support by clicking on the button below and liking her Facebook page! I think it's finally starting to hit me. I think reality is finally starting to settle in a little bit more as each day passes. I have spent nearly two weeks in Finland now, and my approximate countdown to going home seems to never really deplete. I am not homesick. I have not yet reached the point where I long for my bed at home and to be in my own kitchen to cook or use my bathtub. Admittedly, yes, I miss the bathtub, because now unwinding after a long day means laying in my bed and trying to relax and it just isn't the same. My current living situation is easily comparable to living in Edgewood's dorms once again except my room is much bigger, I was provided more resources and furniture in my room, and I have a bathroom in my room rather than a communal one.
If anything, the countdown to my return to the United States is more for the benefit of those who miss me rather than for me. I suppose too it serves as a good reminder that my time here is limited and that I need to do as much as I am able while I can. Now that my classes have started and I have begun studying (reading a lot, really), I think this place is beginning to feel more like a home than a temporary dwelling. This is not to say that I wish to remain here, but rather that I can be comfortable here. |
While in New York, I did a lot of writing about how New York is not a place to live, but rather a place to go to be awestruck temporarily and then leave. The residences do not suggest that people who live in them are there to stay. Dunkin Donuts on every corner and sit-down style restaurants being in short supply suggest that it really is the "city that never sleeps". Here, in Finland, it is much different. Things are much slower paced, it feels more like a home, people live in intricately designed and constructed houses or simple, but functional apartments. There is a distinct lack of fast food places, and I don't think I've seen even one place that serves food that doesn't have a place to sit down. When at the market once, Alisa said that the market was crowded and upon further inspection I noted that by American standards this was a "steady" flow of business, not busy. This is a place to stay. It is a place to linger and live rather than run, experience, and go. Finland kind of feels like home.
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After a very long day, we were in for a long bus ride home. Yes, we got on the correct bus, yes we slept pretty much the entirety of the ride back, and yes we made it home safe and sound. It was nice to just drop my things, put on pajamas, and crawl into bed. However, I would like to go back to Helsinki to explore the museums and perhaps to pick up some souvenirs. Some day...
Sunday was virtually empty of activity. I got up early in the morning to utilize the laundry facility, socialized with my floormates only when I encountered them in the kitchen while I was cooking, and spent a good portion of my time in bed. I would not call this a day wasted, but rather a recuperation period for my trip to Lapland come Monday. It will be a long journey, and I know that I will be exploring and adventuring virtually every day. It will be an exhausting trip, but I have my hopes up that it will be one of the best experiences I have throughout the course of my study abroad. Fingers crossed that the Northern Lights are waiting for me in the North. |
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Day 11/~200After class yesterday, I was eager to get a head start on the material. It's complicated linguistic theory that we will eventually relate to questions revolving around gender and sexuality. Interesting stuff, just dense and hard to work through unless you know the basics. However...These are the basics. But, I spent a good portion of my day in the library taking notes and reading.
The latter half of my day was spent navigating back to Ruiskatu, making sure to make a pit stop at the post office for stamps and envelopes, for a quick workout session followed by some volleyball. We had a full crew today as compared to last time, and I can say with pure excitement that that was the most competitive, rewarding, fun, and intense game I have played since being part of an actual, district recognized team. It feels great to be back on the court again. |
Day 10/~200Today, I ate a nice lunch with some of my floormates. There are plenty of interesting people around who make for excellent conversation. Comparing the United States to these other countries never ceases to blow my mind. Things are so different wherever you go in the world, and mostly for good reason. America's educational system is pretty disgraceful, both in price and in intensity. Overall, I'm not complaining because it's a system I operate and thrive in, but many other places have more functional systems that yield just as intelligent people so it makes sense that other Universities are more efficient in creating job ready citizens for little to no costs.
There are so many things I don't understand about the world socially, culturally, politically... Yet, here I am surrounded by people from all over the world who are playing a part in widening the proverbial lens through which I see the world. It's amazing to think that I am developing a sense of cultural competency just by interacting with my fellow students on a daily basis. The photo you see to the right is actually something painted to a wall on campus. I found this gem by the Student Union Starting Package office. Ultimately, this means that it's kind of "hidden" in a strange basement like area, but it's still a campus building and it's still a sex-ed advertisement. Don't forget condoms, kids. |
After taking some spills on the ice and snow, I managed to waddle my way to my very first college lecture here in Turku. Arken was sort of confusing to navigate. I even needed the help of a librarian to take me where I needed to go, but I'm thankful she was so willing to show me where I needed to be instead of just telling me and leaving me to figure it out on my own.
Ultimately, my schedule looks like this: Mondays and Wednesdays all semester I have Finnish for Foreigners: Beginners I. Thursdays all semester I have The Matter of the Saussurean Sign. Beginning and ending in March, Mondays and Wednesdays I will have Feminist Perspectives on Equality Work and Tuesdays and Thursdays I will have Nordic Gendered Norms and Practices. The remaining four courses are self-study: Intercultural Encounters and Cross-Cultural Psychology, Cultures and Lifestyles, Gender and Sexuality, and Language and Culture, Tandem English. This means that I primarily am doing an entire class on my own. All I have to do is complete the course materials (likely just reading), register for the exam, take the exam, and be done. I have a couple papers, but practically no homework. Plus, I have three attempts at every exam I need to take - taking a load of stress off my shoulders. This flexible and mostly self-paced schedule allows for me to be able to travel, do cool stuff, go to the gym, have a social life, and ultimately have time for myself to practice self-care. I'm feeling confident and comfortable. With one class down, I'm ready to see what the rest of my semester has to offer. |
I finished the day off by joining the student org Anglica ry for a movie. Lots of exchange students and Anglican students filled a lecture hall to enjoy the movie The Imitation Game. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. It's a fantastic film, albeit sad, and worth a watch.
After the movie was finished, we went back to the Anglican student org room, and enjoyed some board games and casual conversation. I'm proud to say that I am now an official member of Anglica ry, and that this will grant me the opportunity to attend and participate in more wildly awesome events here on campus. I also had contact with ISA today regarding some of my documents for my internship. We went through some questions, she made suggestions on how I could improve my resume and cover letter, we did a mock interview and talked about the strength of my answers. This internship placement is well on its way to being solidified, so fingers crossed that something amazing comes my way soon. |
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Day 9/~200I've taken it upon myself to utilize the CampusSport exercise facilities (i.e. I went to the gym today and worked out). This experience has really been about bettering myself and I think I'm starting off on the right track. I've been eating healthier and more regularly, I've started working out (which I hope to maintain throughout the semester), and I believe that my course load allows for enough free/leisure time that I won't be driven half insane by school and will be able to enjoy myself via travel and time to myself. I can definitely say that things appear to be working out in my favor in this venture.
Tomorrow I will be attending my first real class of the semester, and it's not even a class I am 100% registered for as of yet (I missed the registration deadline and plan on speaking to the professor since he hasn't answered my emails about adding me to the course). On top of that, I'll be running some more errands around campus (feels like half of my life is errands, really). It's definitely nice to have a slow start to the semester. This gradual introduction into the city and the school has made this a really easy transition. I am really stoked about all of the trips that ESN has planned for the semester as well. As if it wasn't enough for me to be able to travel up north to Lapland, I will have the opportunity to attend a hockey game very soon, will most likely attend a large excursion into Russia to visit some key cities (i.e. Moscow), and will probably be boarding a cruise ship to Stockholm, Sweden to take a day trip around the city and explore. There are so many amazing and rewarding opportunities here, and I plan on taking advantage of as many of them as I am able to. I'm not letting this slip through my fingers. |
Day 8/~200After finally getting back into my apartment this morning, I sat among my belongings thankful and content. I took it slow, made some soup, met some of my floor-mates, ate well, showered, and fiddled around online to ensure that all of my textbooks were at my disposal for this semester. The most exciting part of my day was traveling down to the Turku University of Applied Sciences to utilize the CampusSport facility and play volleyball with some really great people for a couple of hours. This is an activity I can and will keep up for the remainder of the semester. I will be active, I will be healthy, I will be happy. That is kind of the living mantra I've adopted for this new adventure.
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Come Saturday, I will be traveling by bus to Helsinki to explore the city with my friend Solomia. We will spend the day there together and return in the evening (needless to say I will have plenty to report). Furthermore, come next Monday I will be on my way up north to Lapland! Stay tuned for amazing happenings.
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Day 7/~200There's something interesting about the food here in Finland that I need to make a point about. Every place you go will have their own unique foods, whether you're traveling between states in the US or regions in another country. Finland has some really interesting proteins to offer readily, like reindeer, and I've been surprised about some of the products I find on the shelves in local markets. Today, I found pineapple juice in a bottle. This may not seem like a big deal, but to me this is the most casual and available branding of one of my favorite drinks that I have ever seen. To top it off, the dairy products are amazing. As a kid from the dairy state, I think I have some know-how about what a good cheese is and what great milk tastes like. Well, Finland sure didn't let me down in the dairy department. This is probably the best parmesan cheese I have ever had, and some of the best milk. Many foods in Finland are worthy of praise as compared to American alternatives whether for their lack of processing, lack of sugar, or general "blandness". I can proudly say that I have eaten healthier and more consistently here than I had back home. Sure, my diet is pretty boring, but fruits and vegetables have had their place in my daily diet since I arrived. Thank you Finland, for pushing me to be a healthier me than I was. Here's to a new start.
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Today was also probably one of my busier days. I ran a lot of errands and made a lot of stops all around town. I have officially registered with the Local Register Office and now have a Finnish ID Code (basically a Finnish Social Security Number), I have a Finnish Bank Account now, got myself a bus pass, found a souvenir shop and was able to grab a couple of the more touristy items on the list of things people requested, and I attended the official information session regarding my upcoming trip to Lapland.
However, one of the more exciting parts of my day was registering for the rest of my courses. The University of Turku didn't have all of the classes I wanted or needed for the semester, so I was given the opportunity to take classes at Åbo Akademi University, which is a Swedish college very close to the University of Turku. What this means is that I am now a student at two different Universities and will be taking a grand total of 8 classes (more details on this to come soon) for 32 ECTS (or 16 US Credits). I'm here to collect moments, not things. |
Another good, general life tip non-exclusive to exchange students is: always have a Plan B. It has been my fear since moving here that I would somehow lock myself out of my apartment or lose my key, and that is exactly what happened. I managed to forget my key in my apartment, only to realize this at 5pm when the leasing office was closed and calling a service to let me in would mean paying 50 euros. Thankfully, Alisa and Kalle let me crash at their place for the night so I could go to the leasing office in the morning and obtain a spare key. Had I not had this backup plan, I would have definitely been screwed. It was a scary moment to realize that I could be totally alone with a dead phone and nowhere to go. Just my luck. But the situation has been successfully resolved and I am not planning on repeating this mistake anytime soon (or at all for that matter).
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Day 6/~200Whoever said that life begins at the end of your comfort zone had the right idea. However, I think there is a missing piece to this puzzle. I don't think life BEGINS at the end of your comfort zone, but something certainly changes. Some of the most rewarding situations I've ever been in were ones where I was scared out of my mind (not quite, but you get the picture). Without pushing myself, pushing my own boundaries, my life would be entirely stagnant - which, in and of itself, is terrifying to think about. I have grown, learned, and experienced the most when I took a step beyond where I was comfortable being. This has held true through the entirety of my life thus far. Without taking a chance and facing risk head on, I would not be where I am today (literally and metaphorically speaking). It's not that I have been wildly uncomfortable my entire life, but rather it comes in waves. For the most part, I am content, safe, comfortable, and living my life in a simplistic routine. As of late, there have been many times where I have gone beyond that. The light in my head came on that said "You have to do this. It doesn't matter what you think is standing in your way (fear, finances, etc). You need to do this."
I thank that little voice in my head every day for the things it has brought me to do. Not every one has ended perfectly. I've had my fair share of un-fun endings. But, what is most important is the amount of personal development I went through in the process. I learned a lot about myself when I was busy exploring the world and the people in it. That's why I'm here in Finland to begin with - it was my primary reason for wanting to do this, and here I am. |
Today, despite having toured the city with friends and having done so a few times on my own to run errands, I went to the ESN city tour walk in hopes of making a couple of exchange student friends or at least meeting some people. I'm not very social in situations where I am alone, but almost immediately other students were introducing themselves and I awkwardly fit myself into the conversation.
What started with, "Hey, I like your hat" ended with a new "Facebook Official" friendship. In fact, we even ditched the city walk tour halfway through - which I suppose didn't matter because we were more busy talking to one another than we were listening to our tour guides. I'm hoping that this is just the beginning of something beautiful. I imagine when classes start and I start regularly going to the gym to play volleyball I will meet more people and my international network will continue to expand, but until that point I have remained pretty much on my own. Orientation was unhelpful for icebreaking (not literally speaking), and did not do a great job of helping me meet other students (though most of that responsibility is/was on me) despite doing an excellent job of informing me about the University and Finnish culture. I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid to approach people, and I would make a bigger liar out of myself if I said I wasn't ultimately afraid but resigned to spending this semester mostly on my own. What a terrible thought. This morning, I remember thinking that I didn't need another city tour (especially since I had been given a few already). I remember telling myself that I could stay in my apartment, relax, recoop, maybe run out to get a meal at the cafeteria. I remember telling myself that I probably wouldn't meet anyone on this walk because everyone would already have their niches. These were stupid thoughts and I was lying to myself. If you want it, go get it - push yourself to go out there and live. |
Day 5/~200Today, I did some more casual wandering about in attempts to fulfill people's souvenir requests. I shouldn't be surprised at the number of places that sell winter gear of all kinds (from casual to camping grade), but the sheer amount of items, and sale items, is what shocked me. Something I noticed that I found odd was that there are plenty of commercialized brands and things, but nothing I've seen so far as been as locally commercialized as in the US. I have yet to see a single item that says "Finland" (or Suomi). To me, this screams "We do not like to brag and boast about ourselves and sell out our city/country name like it is a brand" (sorry Wisconsin). I actually had to ask where I could find items like this because I have a couple people who requested something more touristy. As compared to a place like New York, Finland is definitely much more home-like rather than a temporary place to linger.
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Day 4.5/~200It has been snowing for a little while now. Fresh and soft - gently drifting past street lamps as the sun dares to rise and illuminate the clouds with a yellowish hue. It's currently hovering around 0 degrees if you include the windchill. People ride their bikes in this weather, but most students stick to commuting on foot. Despite complaints from everyone, including the Finns, regarding the weather it seems as though there is a point where people just get used to the fact that the wind stings when it hits your cheeks and that your hands go numb within moments of stepping outside if you do not have proper gloves. It is cold.
What I've learned thus far, that I would consider wildly important, is that not asking for help in a place so wildly unfamiliar even with the most seemingly trivial of tasks can cause situations to prolong themselves beyond convenience and ultimately be an unnecessary source of anxiety. It is so important to be vocal and approach others. Even if this person cannot help you, they may know someone who can or have a general idea of what you should do to resolve a problem. I cannot stress this enough. I have had to overcome some social anxiety and stubbornness in order to force myself to speak to strangers and ask for their help, but it has saved me a world of trouble and I have crossed paths with some very kind people as a result. |
Day 4/~200Today is a national holiday, not only here in Finland but in many places all over the world. Epiphany, or loppiainen in Finnish, is a Christian holiday that celebrates the end of the Christmas season and also the Three Wise Men narrative from the Bible. As a result, many places all over the city are closed (mostly government buildings) but locally owned shops now hold the right to determine their own hours of opperation on this day. It is a day of feast and rest.
I took today to mean I would have more productive things done, but the limited availability of open building hours has caused some disruptions in that plan. I have yet to receive any official student card or gym card for my CampusSport membership. Therefore, I have no real access to any facilities and will be spending my time in my apartment, eating a hearty meal and trying to rest and recoop from my travels. If I got anything done, it was wandering to campus, exploring a bit, and paying for my trip to Lapland on the 16th of January. Admittedly, I'm a little sad that I have to cancel my gym/volleyball/swimming plans until further notice but I won't have proper access to any of the facilities until I receive my CampusSport card and activate it in the Educarium office. Oh well, no harm in staying in for the day and just trying to teach myself how to relax. |
Day 3.5/~200If there's anything about Studying Abroad that sort of falls to the backburner, it's the little things. No one seems to realize that when you go to a new country you are essentially starting from square one. This is not to say that you are starting completely over, but that you are in a place where many of your basic necessities are things you need to aquire on the run rather than things that you already have at your disposal. For example, "today" I needed to purchase a spatula because I did not have one. As insignificant as this may seem, a spatula happens to be one of the primary cooking utensils I use and I found myself in need of one. This is just one trivial item, not to mention laundry detergent, cleaning supplies, plenty of food, and potentially some dishware. I was fortunate enough to have a fair amount, including bedding, provided for me so that I didn't have to purchase it on arrival. This is not always the case. I came here with the clothes on my back, literally, and some basics from back home to get me through the next seven months (mostly clothing and bathroom supplies).
The other thing that seems to be forgotten is adjusting to the timezone difference. Jet lag is a pain. Granted I've only been here a couple of days and between the insomnia and typically crazy sleep schedule this appears normal for me. What isn't apparent is that I've been up (at the time posted on this picture) for 26 hours now, drifting somewhere between sleepy and wide awake. Getting myself to adjust properly to the rhythm of things here is more difficult than I originally anticipated. Regardless of this all, I am having the time of my life and I can't wait until this becomes so normal that it feels more like home than a temporary living space. |
Day 3/~200Today started off with a healthy dose of cold (enough to cause my breath to freeze to my glasses) accompanied by a much needed seminar regaring Finnish society, language, and culture. Afterwards, I took up the challenge of navigating the University website and registering for my Finnish language course. The other classes I've chosen to take do not require registration, but rather attendance and/or completion of class material. This accounts for only 5 of 8 classes I have this semester. The remaining 3 are classes that I will be attending at Åbo AkademiUniversity (which is mostly on the same grounds as the University of Turku). I received my student number for this University today via email. I will be registering for my final 3 courses come tomorrow.
I took it upon myself to officially join the student organization ESN (Erasmus Student Network). Through this organization I will be provided unique opportunities on campus, discounts around the city for various things, and even a Europe-wide hostel discount for future travels (or at least until my student card expires). After all the fun came the interesting rigamaroll with the bank in order to make my rent payment and pay for some other fees. Needless to say, my life is going to be much easier once I'm finally able to set up my Finnish bank account (come Monday). The only solace I am able to take from my own bank is that my credit card has proved useful these past couple of days since it actually works here. So, I've been able to pay for all the food and other necessary supplies for my apartment without a single problem. |
I did a bit more wandering today and wound up back downtown in Turku. This was primarily for "business"-like purposes as I found myself in need of some more euros. The walk is beautiful alongside the river from the Student Village to the downtown area. Many of the streets and sidewalks are still cobblestone from many, many years ago. My downfall in this excursion was that not only was it cold outside, but pretty much the entire venture was for naught. I wound up not only getting less euros than expected (because I had less USD than expected), but I also was unable to use the only ATM in short walking distance from the bank in order to receive more.
However, what I found out is that despite my short time actually being here, I'm beginning to pick up a minor sense of direction and was able to properly orient myself and navigate to and from the downtown area on my own mostly using the road signs and familiar walkways. For this much alone, I can say that I'm sort of proud of myself. Typically, I get lost and my turning in circles for a while is aimless, resulting in my eventual dependence on other forms of navigation like Google Maps. This is at least a promising sign that I'll be able to get the hang of things. In other news, the local camera shop did not have film packs compatible with my Polaroid (a 600 film model where the film doubles as a battery pack for the camera), so I will be ordering some film online in order to take photos as I travel about. |
No real journey is complete without a buddy. In my case, I decided to follow common tradition with many travel blogs and designate myself a traveling dinosaur (okay, maybe I've just been exposed to these more than the average person, but still). This is Alan. Alan has been with me for several years now. I received him as a part of a care package from a Self Care as Warfare seminar at MBLGTACC in Normal, Illinois. Alan reminds me to take care of myself and prioritize my own health and welbeing. Given that part of the purpose of this trip is self discovery, I think this is an important addition. It is my hope that through travel, experience, and education I am able to learn more about myself and be able to go home with new knowledge and memories to share.
Alan is going to be coming with me everywhere I go. He will be photographed, as seen to the left, in as many places as I see fit, and will likely be making Polariod cameos as soon as I'm able to get film and begin taking photographs. Plan to see lots more of him in my daily posts. Otherwise, I'm still currently in denial about the idea that I am living, residing, and being educated in Finland. Something in me just hasn't quite come to terms with it like it's something I can't quite wrap my thick skull around just yet. I'm sure once classes begin I will feel differently. I even made my first real meal in my apartment's communal kitchen today, and even though the leftovers in my fridge tell me I'm here to stay a while, I think I plan on eating them much faster than I can come to realize just how long "a while" is. |
Day 2/~200I don't think it's really hit me yet. This idea of actually living in Finland is still foreign to me. It feels more like I'm here for a vacation or a "summer" camp rather than for about 4.5 months to earn 16 credits for my college degree. I'm even officially registered at the University, have a student account/email, and received my first ISEP grand distribution for food/rent. Despite all of this, none of it quite feels real. I guarantee, however, that when my classes officially begin, I will feel a bit differently on the subject.
Today, I went through my first day of Orientation where I was given information about the city, classes, and various opportunities on campus. I was surrounded by people from all over the world all here to do the same thing: live, learn, and experience. Needless to say, it's easy to pick out the Americans and Canadians in the room. Overall, my head is swimming with new knowledge that I'm working on digesting. There's no place I'd rather be. |
I registered for a trip with the campus group ESN to travel to Lapland for about a week's time. Here, we will stay at a resort in luxury cabins, visit Santa's village (yes, actually), visit the Kemi Snow Castle (a place created purely out of ice and snow), and have plenty of other opportunities for activities like Husky Safaris (guided tours in dog-sleds, basically) and snowboarding.
Without the help of my GoFundMe donations, this excusion would have been impossible. So, a huge shoutout to those of you out there who have donated and helped me spread the word - it really does make a huge impact on what I'm able to do on this trip. And another big shoutout to Alisa and Kalle for housing me my first night in Finland, feeding me delicious food, helping me navigate the city, and accopanying me on a trip to get groceries. |
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Day 1/~200Over the course of the past 24 hours, my life has become rather eventful and I can with certainty say that I have not fully come to terms with the fact that I am now living in Turku, Finland for academic purposes. From the saddening drive to the airport, which meant leaving my friends and my cat behind, to the lengthy flights through several time zones, and the ultimately magnificent views, I have traveled far and well. I made it safely to Turku's Student Village where a dear friend of mine lives. Her and her boyfriend were kind enough to house and feed me for the night until I can get the keys to my own apartment. Thus far, I have yet to experience any major shock, awe, or breakdown. I am not homesick. I am excited, alive, and very much happy to have had the courage to walk away from my life in the United States to participate in this amazing opportunity.
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Student Orientation for Exchange Students begins tomorrow (the 4th). Here, I will learn more about the University, the city, other Exchange Students, and receive my student ID and login information so that I can register for classes, properly attain a Finnish ID number, and tie up other loose ends. I've already ordered my student ID card, joined the Student Union, and made the appointment to get my Finnish ID. I'll even be picking up the keys to my apartment tomorrow afternoon. The things I'm most excited for are settling in, joining CampusSport to give myself gym access and the opportunity to play competitive volleyball, and getting some film for my Polaroid to better document my future adventures.
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Find me where the wild things are. |